Am I asking too much from my loved ones?

I used to be a very cheerful, happy person back when I'm in college. I have friends to talk to, not worrying about bills....

After that, I moved to the other side of the country because of the job and I thought it's easier for me to go to the office. Unfortunately it will took me way too long to travel as I don't have a car so I'm working from home all the time. I'm an immigrant and even though my sister is living with me, we don't really talk a lot as she will be back only late in the night due to commuting to work too.

I used to look forward to this job a lot, but after starting this job, I don't really enjoy it because everyone is really experienced and i can't really talked when they were talking about their past experience with each other. Most of them have family so they don't usually hang out after work. I met them once in the office and they are nice people. I know I have a pretty decent life and I don't know if I am asking too much, but I just don't feel like being in a team with them. When they are talking about their kids, I can't really say anything, because Im the same age as their kids! I don't know how to make conversation with them.

I feel overwhelmed with adulthood. Every month I struggled to save money for a car. I spend money only on stuff I need but I have lots of bills that I need to pay and I just don't know how to pay everything and manage to save.

Because I moved, now my boyfriend and I live quite far from each other, so we can't see each other that much too. We can still travel to see each other and he is the only person that I can talk to about how I feel. But it's almost Christmas and he is quite a person who loves going for coffee with friends and stuff, so he told me that he has some plans ahead so we kind of don't see each other that much this month.

Few months ago, my sister was trying to kill herself and everyone was asking about how she was doing. I'm living abroad and my parents don't really ask about how my work is anymore when I was calling them. All they ask is how my sister is doing and stuff about her. I feel like they forget about me when I was a kid too because my sister was always sick. But I understand my sister really need them.

I know that I sounds like I wanted attention from my loved ones, but I kind of feel like everyone just forgets about me. I'm not the priority for them. Im always their second choice.

I just feel no energy in doing anything and always wanted to cry recently. I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe it's the weather, because it's winter and it gets dark really early. I don't really go out a lot and maybe I feel isolated. I tried go on movies or have a meal by myself to try and make myself feel better but I just don't feel like having the energy to do that.

Sometimes, I lie on my bed and would just hope I don't wake up anymore. Everyone just forgets about me anyway.

Is it ok to feel that way? Am I asking too much for attention from my loved ones?