Depressive thoughts
This may not be tailored to everyone to read however I appreciate anyone reading and offering any assistance if possible as I am currently dealing with an on going police investigation regarding allegations against myself and my mind fears the worst of everything such as the final outcome, public knowledge, losing family, friends, work and myself with my own thoughts.
These thoughts started 8 years ago but, I had a lot of distractions in my life involving my partner, friends, family and hobbies. Now I have lost majority of the above and it is all self inflicted and it makes me feel even worse as I don't have answers as to why.
I have already tarnished the only thing that kept me going which was my relationship with my ex partner and her daughter whom I was what is known as a father figure too. I have ruined it all and thrown it all away and I'm struggling to come to terms with why I did it and I want guidance and answers on how to understand the severity of everything as a whole as that is another issue im struggling to deal with.
Recently my thoughts have been intrusive and I've considered taking my own life over the course of the past week or so with the severity of all what is going on and it's painful to deal with as I fear I am alone in my own head everyday.
Thank you for reading this far if so.
I'm so sorry for what you are going through. It sounds very heavy and like some things are out of your control, which is hard to deal with. I am in a different situation, but questioning decisions I've made and feeling hopeless with intrusive thoughts on how to make it all end. For decisions you've made that you question or regret, you are a human doing the best that you can. You are suffering, grieving, and trying to survive.
