Does it ever get better
Vent!
I don't know what to do anymore. I don't even know how to put it into words. I just feel so sad all the time and upset and I don't know what to do. I just want someone to talk to like a friend. I don't have friends and it makes me feel sad sometimes bc what am I supposed to do. I'm sorry I just feel so much all the time. I wana give up like I'm so tired and over it. I don't know what's wrong with me but I wana fix it. I wana feel normal and happy and proud of myself. I don't know why it's so hard for me to be okay. I just want to be okay. Like I always feel so done with things I'm always mad or upset. I never know how to handle my feelings. I've always felt this way and somehow I've never learned to be better. Does it ever get better or is it a lie to keep us here. I just want sleep all the time. I don't want to be here but I don't want to leave my stuff animals behind. I love my stuff animals. I don't think it's childish. I just want a real friend instead of talking to myself all the time. Is there any real way of getting better?
@Livy001
There's absolutely nothing wrong with loving your stuffed animals 🩷
Do you have a favourite one?
It's difficult when you have felt like this for a long time.
And find it hard to process your feelings.
And have no one to share it with.
It might feel like it won't pass.
But it does 💙
And I hope things change for you because you deserve to be happy 🩷
I love them all equally but my best friend is Lamby I've had her since I was born
@Livy001
Ah precious 💛
@Livy001 I'm sorry things are so lonely right now 😞
Reach out to me? Maybe we can chat a bit and help a little with that 💙
For someone to be in this situation is frustrating. You have solved part of the problem by sharing your feelings.
Have you considered talking to one of your family that is closer to you?
Try checking out your favorite , your passion and go for it
I don't really talk to my family
@Livy001 I love how you care about your stuffed animals. My personal opinion (and not professional) is that it’s great that you create with them environment where you can feel comfort of safe relationships. 🌸
Is it ok to ask about what happened to your bf?
Aldo when chat with listeners are you able to feel connected a little more? How is it for you?
Me and my bf are good it's just he doesn't really understand or know how to help so instead of yk helping it tends to upset me bc he continues to question me instead of simply listening but we're communicating and figuring it out. Ive tried talking to listeners but it feels out of touch like if I'm talking to an ai yk but I'm trying to get better so yeah
@Livy001 Your bf sounds like a real good friend. Trying his best to communicate when he does not quite understand. Many people would try to minimize or get enjoyed. It sounds like maybe he doesn’t do that.
Is his still imperfect presence also a good reason to live? Or it’s not that much?
I can imagine that some conversations might not feel natural. How do you feel about replies in this thread? Maybe you could find a listener through a post reply that resonates with you?
I usually am not available for longer online conversations now. I tend to do mostly asynchronous messages cross multiple days. If you wanted to give it a try, then I am open for a dm. Or we can continue in this thread as well.
@Livy001 more thoughts?
I don't want this to come across rude but telling me that a "good reason" to live is to live for someone else annoys me. This is my life not his I want to live for ME not him which is upsetting bc I don't want to yk. People in here are nice but it's so artificial. But I truly appreciate all the support on here💕
@Livy001 It’s ok. I am glad you put it out. My words annoyed you. Sharing that kind of feedback gives a conversation a chance for repair.
I get the feeling you are so tired of surface level conversations that you might not want to see if there is something more here. My questions triggered an unfavorable for it classification. It’s not wrong. It’s important to know what you are not willing to invest your time in. You might get curios or might stick to your original judgment. Both are your right.
I agree that using the word „reason to live” in my question was simplifying. Maybe, you could see beyond that? I didn’t say „it is a reason”. I wanted to know if it makes a difference… for me this was not shallow question. I recently had someone whose gentle presence changed a lot for me and then they chose to disconnect with me. It was hard to keep the meaning it had for me but I did my best. For me it relates a little with what you say that you need to live for you… I believe that a good presence makes it more and not less possible.
I understand the question better now thank you for giving a better explanation. He does make living better as I love spending time with him. But I don't want to rely on someone else to be happy yk
I think I understand. I feel I wanted to not rely on others too. Over a last years it changed a little for me. I still know that I can’t rely on a single person always being there for me. Still, now, I do want to enjoy the people who are willing to share something (fun, help, conversation) with me in specific moments and I want those moments. I let those moments to make me happy without counting too much for them to remain available for long term from the same people. At the moment it feels that it works.
@Livy001 i was depressed and stressed in a huge part of my life... it took me the last 2 years to be happy... so since elementary till 2 years ago (i am 24) so it was a very long time for my life to truly get better. it isn't perfect. i can't shield myself from evil people and pain and everything that can possibly go wrong. i can't control bad people, i can't control all of the situations i'm in; i win or lose. i genuinely thought i would die by suicide by 18 so i literally just accidentally became an adult without any plans for the future. i just went to college, dropped out, went to college again, and dropped out again. no direction. i was a woman in a boat floating in an infinite ocean not knowing when the wave is going to be and what the wave will be like or how big it is. but the important thing is i didn't die. i survived and that mattered more than being happy. i got meds for my schizophrenia and that helped and helped with fixing my sleep but my medication can increase me to get stroke so i stopped it recently. you don't live to impress others. you live to survive. allow yourself to occupy space in this world. it's your human right to have that. if you can't be happy or respect yourself enough to show compassion for yourself, at least be a good cicitzen to yourself and treat yourself how you wanna be treated like a friend. our preacher daniel razon siad nobody is closer to us than ourselves. we witness almost everything about ourselves. we can't help but be in this world. so let's just develop strategies to survive rather than make every tweak and decision to make it impressive or luxurious or inifinitely joyful. it's normal to cry so cry. it's normal to feel upset so find an outlet for it (something healthy). you can feel a range of emotions but it doesn't mean we can put it into action all of the time. you just gotta prioritize survival some days and some days you gotta prioritize resting to recharge for the next battle in this world (the fight for survival). nobody will be there for you the most but yourself (and God). we just gotta keep going because our self isn't going anywhere but be physically there wherever we are.
I'm happy for you that's amazing. I'm not religious so no it's just me for myself. I appreciate the support and I'm really proud of you for getting to where you are now. I also know that you are completely different from me. From what you said, you had no plans for the future, I do. I have an amazing future ahead. I'm already successful and I haven't even begun my "adult" years. I take up space bc I want too. I could care less about what people think. I love myself and my life which is why I'm so tired of feeling this way.
