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Livy001
1 1,475 M Little Steps 5
PathStep 13 Compassion hearts96 Forum posts19 Forum upvotes29 Current upvotes29 Age GroupTeen Last activeSeptember, 2026 Member sinceMarch 15, 2025
Bio

Im here because I've struggled alot alone. I just feel so sick. I just want to feel okay.

Recent forum posts
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Advice on sh
Self-Harm Recovery / by Livy001
Last post
 Saturday
...See more I want to know ways people have stopped sh because it's been a rough journey for me and I cant seem to let it go. I've tried before but when I was clean I still felt horrible, sometimes even worse, and I want to try and stop that feeling or at least calm it down. I've been struggling with depression for years and I want to be able to live a normal life rather then letting it control me. The first step to that is stopping this addiction, any advice?
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The sad but needed truth
Self-Harm Recovery / by Livy001
Last post
 September 6th
...See more I've been on a recovery journey for almost a year now. More specifically being clean for a year, recovery has been for many lol. But I need to be honest about how I've been. I last posted about my relapse and how it didn't count which it does, i had made that post in a bad state of mind and couldn't accept I still need help. I've relapsed a few more times after that, I didn't tell anyone but my bf about it. For me personally it's best not to tell anyone so I'm going to keep my "clean streak" for them. But for myself I'm going to keep working on being better, even if that means admitting the hard things. I'm an addict and I'm addicted to sh. I struggle with staying clean and I tend to snap a lot more when I try to be clean. Relapse is part of the process and I don't sh as much as I use too. I see myself growing but I needed to hear myself say that I'm still not okay instead of lying. I will continue my journey to a safe recovery on here and I appreciate all the support from this app. I hope to truly reach a year clean but for now we are starting fresh.
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Relapse accident
Self-Harm Recovery / by Livy001
Last post
 August 6th
...See more Slight tw! So just a backstory I recently got in contact with like an ex talking stage, me and him have been like on n off for about a year. Yes this is wrong yes I have a bf but my relationship isn't anyone's business but mine. I simply want to fill you guys in on why this happened. So me and him started texting again and I had obviously started thinking more about him, and he's a smoker so I thought I would be able to ask him for smth to harm myself with bc I didn't think he would care. When I did he told me he does cares about me n we had a talk, he says I can talk to him but I feel it's weird yk. Anyways I had been depressed for a while now and him not giving me what I asked kinda sent me spiraling. I ended up finding something to harm myself and I haven't told anyone. I feel like I shouldn't and don't really want to count this as a relapse even though it is. I don't know what to do about this, should I just let it pass? Should I tell him? Should I tell my bf? I don't know. I havent thought about doing it again and I feel like I just did it as a one time thing yk. I just don't know how to like feel about this and if I should tell someone. I don't plan on doing it again, I don't even want too, I just had a mistake. But lmk what to do and if this should break my almost 9 month streak.
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Does it ever get better
Depression Support / by Livy001
Last post
 July 15th
...See more Vent! I don't know what to do anymore. I don't even know how to put it into words. I just feel so sad all the time and upset and I don't know what to do. I just want someone to talk to like a friend. I don't have friends and it makes me feel sad sometimes bc what am I supposed to do. I'm sorry I just feel so much all the time. I wana give up like I'm so tired and over it. I don't know what's wrong with me but I wana fix it. I wana feel normal and happy and proud of myself. I don't know why it's so hard for me to be okay. I just want to be okay. Like I always feel so done with things I'm always mad or upset. I never know how to handle my feelings. I've always felt this way and somehow I've never learned to be better. Does it ever get better or is it a lie to keep us here. I just want sleep all the time. I don't want to be here but I don't want to leave my stuff animals behind. I love my stuff animals. I don't think it's childish. I just want a real friend instead of talking to myself all the time. Is there any real way of getting better?
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Awkward Milestone
Self-Harm Recovery / by Livy001
Last post
 May 20th
...See more Officially half a year clean and it feels so weird. Like I don't want to admit I haven't done sh in that long but I also want to celebrate. Its a weird feeling of uneasiness and idk if others have felt this. Is it normal to feel awkward when reaching big steps? I mean I still have urges and want too but I also don't... It's very hard to understand these feelings I just wana know if others relate or have had similar experiences. But yay me half a year clean!
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Confusing Emotions
Self-Harm Recovery / by Livy001
Last post
 April 20th
...See more No tw this time but I recently just hit 5 months clean, going onto 6 but i dont feel good about it. I know that its normal to want to relapse during recovery but its not even the fact i want to sh its just that everyone cares more about my recovery then what actually caused me to be in recovery. I feel like my issues were completely blown off and no one seems to see that. I dont want to sh, not bc i care or dont want to relapse but simply bc im lazy and dont feel like doing it. That doesnt mean i wanted to stop but because i would be okay for a few weeks my current bf would celebrate and it kinda snowballed into me staying clean. Every month i hit i dont care but everyone does and it upsets me. I still have issues and no one actually helps me through it simply bc i don't hurt myself anymore. Sometimes i want to show them what i use to do to prove im not okay but ik it'll cause more problems then actually fixing them. Is there any way to feel better about this or an explanation to how i feel?
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Advice on Hard Times
Self-Harm Recovery / by Livy001
Last post
 March 29th
...See more Slight TW I've been clean for almost half a year now but i still feel the need to sh, ik that twitter(or x as its now called) has a certain community that doesnt necessarily promote sh but does welcome it and I have been on it for a while now just bc i need to see it to make me feel better instead of actually harming myself. It does sometimes trigger me into wanting to sh but I have never relapsed since i started my journey and dont really see the need to go through recovery again if i have already made it this far. I just want to know if there are better ways to cope with this needing feeling instead of just watching others online. Mainly bc ik its not good for me mentally and i want to try and reduce this feeling of needing to do/see sh. Any advice?
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Staying Sober
Self-Harm Recovery / by Livy001
Last post
 January 13th
...See more Im currently two months sober from self harm but nothing feels better. In fact I think it felt better when I was sh. I just dont know how to respond to all these things that I feel and often times they dont go away. I felt that sh was my best way of feeling better but now that I stopped it really seems like it was. I do not want to relapse nor do i want to encourage it but if there isnt any other way to make me feel better is it that bad...i know its horrible to say out loud but i really am losing options here. I need to get myself better because im losing people I love. I just need to know it staying sober is the best option for healing. And please let me know how to deal with these feelings so I can grow as a person.
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