Hard to get help when you need it TW suicidal Ideation
I've been in a battle with depression since I was a kid and I personally feel that when having thoughts of suicide it complicates your ability to actually get help when you need it. I'm afraid to talk about it with my therapist because I can't afford a hospital visit. I'm afraid to talk with family as they can't do much about it since they live across the country from me. Talking about it with my boyfriend only hurts him and I always end up down playing the severity and or can't physically say the words out loud because it hurts me too much to say it to his face. I end up dealing with it alone and that just makes me feel like I'm alone in it. If I do finally get someone to talk with it makes me feel as if I'm a burden or dramatic piece of crap. What is someone like me supposed to do? Where and how do I get help with out the risk of not being able to afford rent or food?
@purpleField4423 hi. i'm so sorry you've been battling depression for so long, it must be really tough. *hugs if okay* thank you for reaching out, i really hope you're safe for now. 🫂
i totally agree with you, dealing with suicidal thoughts really can complicate getting help. it makes sense to be afraid to talk about it because of so many reasons that you've mentioned. because yeah, oftentimes we're scared of what will happen if we talk about them, and we might not want to hurt, scare or worry the other person. suicidal thoughts do complicate getting help, because of all that you talked about and also because a lot of times if you talk about it on cups, you might be given crisis resources and be told to log off, which can feel like being left alone, sadly...
but dealing with these difficult thoughts alone must be really hard, i'm sorry you're going through this. i feel your pain, the pain behind these thoughts. i know it hurts to deal with it alone, but i promise you, you're not alone in dealing with these thoughts. i'm with you, and so many others are. you're not alone, you're not a burden, and you're not being dramatic for dealing with this. ❤️
if you ever want to talk, i'm here for you. feel free to talk here. (please don't be surprised if this thread disappears, but i'll still be here, okay?) i won't be able to help you as such, or tell you what to do, but i can be here and listen and i feel, that can help a lot of times, when i deal with such thoughts, it helps me to just have someone to be there and listen. and i also have some other stuff that help me when i'm dealing with thoughts alone. would you like me to share them with you? or maybe is calling helplines an option for you?
sending you lots of strength and hugs if okay. i know how hard these thoughts are, but please try your best to not give in to them okay? 🫂❤️