I am a friend but not THE friend.
I am a friend to my friends in need, and have long accepted that they will contact me only when they need help. But I am not the friend they consider inviting when they hang out, or consider contacting to check on. I am always the one to start contact asking how they are, or inviting them somewhere. They would chat to each other and make plans to hang out separately, and I just find out much later on. If I message the group chat inviting them to hang out, my messages would be read and ignored until someone else finds a different topic to talk about. I have a couple of friend groups, and it has always been like this with everyone, so I kind of just accepted it. But I didn't realize until years later now, how lonely it made me feel and how painful it is to have friends who don't look for you when they want to have a good time and only when they need advice or support.
How do I restore value in myself and build back confidence? I don't have any to begin with. I feel like sobbing a lot of the time, but it is like stuck in my chest. I am afraid to bring it up because it sounds pathetic and attention-seeking, which I have been told before. I don't know, I guess I just wanted to be accepted and wanted.
@bluecat825
It does not mean it is a reflection on you.... I too was friend if they needed advice/ help or wanted something but I was not invited to other things....
I never took it personally because for some I was the rock and stable and responsible ..........and my group wanted to get drunk on overpriced drinks and talk about subjects that i had no interest or i had other obligations.
It was lonely ... and i like you asked why me. I looked back and saw i had priorities and said no a few times so invites stopped or was not really into same things for example i do not drink and some wanted to go to happy hour all the time .... drinking soda listening to others tell "one time i was so wasted" stories are just not that funny.
Maybe they are intimidated by you or just do not know what they have in common with you.
Are there specific people in group that you do not get along with, and to include them ... the planners of event leave you off list thinking you will understand but the others would be upset ? Have you spoken to any of the group to ask if there is a reason... would they tell you if you did?
@bluecat825
That was me with friends and family. Come to find out they were always asking my advice because they were out doing dirt and feeling terrible afterwards.
So if they are asking for your advice its because your in a more stable position in life.
You may not think so because they are out supposedly having "fun" but all they're doing is bickering and crap then they probably get around you and make it seem like they have it all together.
Just cut em off and wait for life to guide you to more mature people.