I didn't know what I experience was a child sexual abuse
When I was around six to eight years old, there were a few boys—classmates and one slightly older—who did things to me that I now understand were not right. At the time, I didn’t really know what was happening or what it meant. I only knew they were my friends, and I thought it was normal to listen to them. But looking back, I realize that what happened was a kind of child sexual abuse.
When my guardian found out, I was punished instead of being comforted or helped, which made me feel ashamed and confused. I didn’t even fully understand what I had done wrong. After that, I became scared of getting close to boys. I still feel nervous and tense around them, even when I try to act normal. Sometimes I get flashbacks or an uncomfortable feeling when I remember it.
These experiences have stayed with me. They made me overthink a lot about love and physical closeness, and I often feel guilt and confusion that I know now aren’t really my fault. I also find myself more attached to female friends because I feel safer with them, though I sometimes act too clingy without meaning to.
Because of these past experiences, I think I developed a lot of emotional struggles—like anxiety, panic attacks, and sadness that I try to hide. Talking about this still makes me scared, but I really want to get better and understand myself. I want to stop carrying this fear and discomfort, and I hope to find a safe space where I can finally heal.
@communicativeKiwi4255
Hi,
I truly feel sad to learn about your painful past experiences. Instead of being comforted, you were scolded by your guardian. They might have been concerned about you but may not have understood that it wasn’t your choice.
It’s completely understandable to feel uncomfortable around boys, as it reminds you of those experiences. You no longer need to feel that way, because at that time you were a child — but now you are an adult. You are independent now. You can think rationally and logically. You have a voice and the strength to say no — something you didn’t have in the past.
Please don’t feel guilty about things that were not your choice. Certain situations are beyond our control. Let’s not allow the past to affect our present. Our mental abilities at that time were different, but now our mind is stronger and more developed. We can’t keep revisiting the past with the same level of understanding we had back then. You are stronger now.
You haven’t done anything wrong. The ones who hurt you should feel guilty — not you. You are a kind, innocent soul. Your brain and mind have grown wiser, and you understand what’s right for you.
You’re not alone in this — countless souls have faced similar pain. But you have had the courage to face it and grow, and I’m proud of you. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. What happened to you could happen to anyone.
I accept you exactly as you are, and I want you to do the same. Be proud of who you are and how the Creator has made you. You are full of kindness and innocence.
I feel really sorry for you
I have gone through a similar situation one of my relation abused me
I didn't understand that time
After that at 8th grade I understood partially about reproduction and I was scared like a baby would come out or i am killing a baby inside I was traumatized
I thought I can't have a normal life
But now I am a married woman a good husband and 2 kids
How I healed ?
It was a journey
You are important to you
Love yourself
Take care of yourself, respect yourself
Your meant for great things
Only you can help yourself
Parents should guide children at each stage but they feel embarrassed to talk about it and makes their children life bad
I feel really sorry for you
I have gone through a similar situation one of my relation abused me
I didn't understand that time
After that at 8th grade I understood partially about reproduction and I was scared like a baby would come out or i am killing a baby inside I was traumatized
I thought I can't have a normal life
But now I am a married woman a good husband and 2 kids
How I healed ?
It was a journey
You are important to you
Love yourself
Take care of yourself, respect yourself
Your meant for great things
Only you can help yourself
Parents should guide children at each stage but they feel embarrassed to talk about it and makes their children life bad
I can't full except if I am actually an adult or not so I am still 15 years old.. while noone maytake it seriously.. I will be turning 16 in few months we have I can slowly starving financial independent by doing small jobs or just freelancing.. because it is the age of 16 I can make in account for myself I guess this is what you call the freedom as silent one but not clearly...
I can relate to this. Please keep positive through the hard times ! One day at a time 💞 we are all in this together
Are you male or female
Are you male or female
Female...
