Idk anymore

 i just woke up a while ago. it was almost 10 am, and my dad woke me up.

I'm actually already half-awake since i couldn't really sleep that much cuz i kept hearing or feeling my own heartbeat and it feels so heavy that i couldn't fall back asleep again.Dad was telling me that i overslept again in a firm tone and like idk but the tone wasn't nice or gentle. he said that my muscles will weaken and that I'll physically weaken atp. he doesn't even know that i only got to sleep at 3am. 

Tbh, this is why i love being home alone and i get more distant to my parents. I don't feel very happy when I'm with them. I just feel tired and cautious most of the time. Resting would mean I'm slacking off too. They don't really know what's going on about me, yet they analyze me and assume that I'm what they think i am to be. I don't even rebel like sneaking out, being out so late, having bad habits. I do well at school too, yet it feels like it isn't enough for them, which makes me feel like everything i do isn't enough. I love my parents so much, but I also don't feel happy with them at the same time. I considered staying with my aunt who is very supportive, yet i can't because I don't have the courage to be away from my parents for a very long time. Idk why I'm like this. I don't really like how my emotions are. I'm also super emotionally sensitive that i just tear up even if i don't want to, and i also only tear up most of the time when i get mad or frustrated.