I don't know how much longer I can keep going
I don't know what am I here for. And I guess I will never know.
My mother tells me things that make it very clear to me that she doesn't want me. I know she sees me as something that weighs her down and holds her back. She's always there to makes me feel ashamed of my body and about who I am. And so is my father.
Most of my teachers tell us things that make me feel guilty and as if I'm doing something wrong all the time. They make me scared to live because they tell us about how difficult life and things in it are. I doubt how many of my teachers would feel anything if one day they found out that I don't exist of earth anymore.
I don't have any friends, everyone's just a classmate. So how would any of them care if I didn't exist anymore.
What difference would I make to anyone if I just stopped existing? It would only make a difference to be because I would get some relief.
I very much know that I am NOT alone in my struggles. But ultimately, I also know that I will have to deal with my struggles all by myself. Nobody, and I mean nobody, will come to help me with that. Not my parents, not my teachers, not any friends. I have to deal with my struggles all alone.
Every day I think about that question: what am I here for? What difference would it make I I didn't exist anymore? I am tired of living. I need some rest. My heart needs some rest from beating every day. My brain needs some rest from worrying but at the same time feeling hopeless every day.
What's wrong if I decide to give my heart, brain and body a well-deserved break? What am I living for? I really do want to give my them a break. They deserve it. What on earth is there so that I need to keep letting my heart an brain work so much?
You are right about needing rest and a reset. But you need a very different rest and reset than you imagine.
No one knows how long we will be here. You are right. But we also don't get to decide. Life changes direction when we are least expecting it.
I know that doesn't help you survive right now. So here are some things that do: 1) Going to a teacher and saying that you are really struggling right now. They can put you in touch with resources that can help. If you can't imagine that, consider going to your doctor. 2) Start finding mini ways to rest right now and take care of yourself. Are you eating and drinking water? Are you getting outside much? Keep it really simple and action based. 3) Come on here often. Having some cheerleaders in your corner can really help. @exuberantBlackberry9105
@bestVase7265 Hey! Thank you so much for your support, it means a lot to me.
I wonder what kind of rest and reset I need if I don't need the kind I'm imagining? I agree that we don't know how long we're here. But honestly, I wish we knew so can decide what we want to do with our life. Life changes direction when we are least expecting it? That's never happened to me, so I don't know about that.
Going to a teacher and telling them that I'm struggling can put me in touch with helpful resources? I'm afraid you're mistaken. Most of my teachers are bullies and if I would tell them, it would make me even more of a target. Of course, I have two teachers who could possibly understand, but how on earth could I talk to them privately?
Talking to a doctor? I'm a teen, and I can't go to a doctor unless my parents take me. My parents won't take me to a doctor unless I am realllly sick. Even if they take me to one, I can't talk to the doctor alone. Also, the doctor makes me feel so uncomfortable and unwelcome that I absolutely hate her. Do you think I could open up about my struggles to someone I hate? Also, what good is it if I need to tell the doctor in front of my parents? To make things worse, it is strictly prohibited for me to tell anyone about my family situation, and that sadly plays a huge role in why I'm feeling this way.
Oh, yes. I surely do all the physical things to take care of myself. I eat, I drink enough water. Not sure if I get outside much, because my life is pretty much home, school, home, school, and so on. I don't get to go anywhere else. But yeah, I do go to school.
Of course, I do come on Cups often. Maybe not as often as I'd like to, because I have other things to do, but I do come here. I'm not sure about what you mean by "Having some cheerleaders in your corner can really help." though.
I am talking about a rest and reset where you at least imagine existing. You don't need a goal bigger than that right now..
You mentioned having one or two teachers that might be kind. All you have to do is write them a note and explain the situation. In fact, you could just copy and print what you wrote above. Put your name on it, drop it on their desk as you are leaving and let them make the next move. I bet that they will.
The doctor doesn't sound like a good fit in your case so ignore that for now. But there are ways to get your parents out of the room when you see doctors as a teenager.
Experiment with getting outside a little. It might help.
What I was saying about cheerleading is simply that brain dumping how your day was on 7 Cups allows it to not continue to act like a wrecking ball in your head. And sometimes people can offer a worthwhile tip or two. You deserve some peace and you can't find that in a vacuum. People here have been in your shoes.@exuberantBlackberry9105
@bestVase7265 Thanks for your response. I'm not sure how something where I imagine existing could be a rest and reset.
Copy and print what I just wrote here? I'm sorry, but we don't have a printer at home. Drop it on their desk? You mean to tell me to go to the staff room in from of twenty other teachers and give them this note? And you think the matter's going to remain private in the staff room once the teacher reads it?
Honestly, I do not think there are any ways to get my parents out of the room when they take me to a doctor. And I'm sorry, but I am not experimenting with getting outside. I am done with experiments.
Yeah, maybe dumping about my day on Cups can stop it from bugging me, but where do I dump it?
You dump it right here. I will respond every time that you post. I do it for a number of people as long as they need it. No judgement.
I know that it feels like there are no solutions right now because you are just so tired. You have a right to be. But you also deserve to feel better and there are much better ways to do that than not existing. So rest for a bit for now and we can see about solutions later. @exuberantBlackberry9105
@bestVase7265 Thank you so much for your offer, Vase. I really appreciate your willingness to help and support me. I might be mistaken, but to be honest, I don't feel understood by you. You don't know my full situation yet (and that's totally okay) and what you've heard so far is just the tip of the iceberg, and I hence I didn't enjoy the suggestions I was given. I have received many such suggestions before and following them has unfortunately led me into huge trouble, and now I get triggered and cry every time I get similar suggestions. I'm sorry to say this, I don't mean to hurt you, I'm just letting you know.
I can agree on that, there are no solutions in my visibility range. And that is exactly what makes me not want to exist anymore.
Don't worry about hurting me. You really can't. I am sure that you have heard lots of suggestions that didn't work. I certainly did when I was in the hole.
You are right about me not knowing your whole story. Know that I am willing to listen to it right here. Whether or not you want to share it is totally up to you. There is no need to answer here unless you want to. @exuberantBlackberry9105
@bestVase7265 Oh, thanks! I'd love to share more of my story. Do you want me to share it here or on a different thread?
Here is perfectly fine! I am glad that you are willing to share and I look forward to hearing more. @exuberantBlackberry9105
@bestVase7265 You got it. So I'm pretty young, maybe younger than you might have guessed. I'm 13. Also, I'm from India. I don't know where you're from, but keep in mind that a lot of things are different here. I also come from a family with financial issues.
I don't feel like I'm the one controlling my life. Maybe I do have some control, but not as much as I'd like. Most of the control lies in the hands of my mother. She's also abusive, and that makes things hard for me.
She's not understanding, and she says things that make me feel like everything's my fault. She doesn't really care about me, and she says nothing and doesn't seem worried at all if I say something like "I want my heart to take a 10 min break." She doesn't even care to ask me what's wrong. That's something that really makes me feel that nobody would care if I didn't exist anymore.
I actually thought that you might be from India or southeast Asia somewhere. I have written with people from that part of the world before and I know that the parent dynamic is very different than where I am from. The people that I have communicated with there are now doing much better. The fact that your parents don't feel financially stable is something that they can easily take out on you.
The fact that things are different doesn't make them unworkable though. You have to work around your parents a bit more and ignore some of the pressures that they place on you. I know that feels really impossible right now. It is a really slow process.
One thing is look for any good mini moments. Your brain will say 5 minutes enjoying what you are eating for dinner doesn't count if the rest of the day is crap. But that isn't true. You can grow from that 5 minutes into longer. So see if you can identify 5 minutes of somewhat okay tomorrow. That will give you power over that 5 minutes of your day.
If you don't succeed tomorrow in finding that 5 minutes, it is okay. You can always try again the next day.@exuberantBlackberry9105
@bestVase7265 Oh, that's really good to know. Well, my parents don't just feel financially unstable, they are in a financially unstable situation. However, that's luckily not something they "take out on me". The reason I mentioned that is because the financial instability does affect me in many ways. That doesn't mean my parents "take it out on me".
I'm not sure about what pressures you are talking about, but I can't just work around my parents, sadly.
Identifying 5 minutes of okay moments in the day is a good suggestion, and I already try to do it. Probably for more than 5 minutes. But it doesn't make me feel any better at all.
I almost never miss posting and I managed to miss two days. I am so, so sorry for that. My own job got way too busy and I couldn't get on the computer. That is the first time it has happened in at least 6 months.
You are experiencing tons of pressure right now from all sorts of different directions. I am glad that you trying to look for 5 minutes or more of peace each day. You can even write those moments down. It won't help right away. It takes a few weeks of practice for your brain to begin to calm down a bit.
What I meant by working around your parents is slowly figuring a way to let their negativity (which you have done nothing to deserve) not bother you quite as much. Again, not easy at all. But you can figure it out over time.
What was the best thing that happened and the worst thing that happened in the last 48 hours? @exuberantBlackberry9105
@bestVase7265 Vase, it's fine. I get it, it happens to all of us.
You're right about that, I am under lots of pressure. Myself, my parents, my teachers. Everyone's here to add pressure.
Well, finding a way to not let my parents' negativity affect me is easier said than done. How could I just figure it out over time?
That's a difficult question to answer. I wonder why you'd ask something like that. It's hard to call something the best/worst thing that happened in the last 48 hours. Lots of good and bad things have happened, but I can't say that something is the best and something is the worst.
Oh, I know that it is much easier said than done to turn off that negativity that you are getting from your parents. I am sure that it feels impossible right now. Do I know exactly how that is going to work out? No, but I know that we can try. The person that I worked with before from southeast Asia has very similar parents. Despite all the stress and pressure, she just managed to finish her exams and is getting ready to move away. A large part of it is just always trying.
Why did I ask about the last 48 hours? I am sure that sounded like a weird question. The length of time was perhaps too long, but I hadn't been in contact in that period. But it was also a way to start retraining your brain. Sometimes creating a list of one good thing and one bad thing allows you to begin seeing that not only bad stuff is happening and that you are somehow surviving even when you don't know how. @exuberantBlackberry9105
@bestVase7265 Yes, it does feel impossible right now. Could I ask how old the person you're talking about was when you started working with them? What kind of exams did they finish? Like 12th boards or college? I know these are nosy questions, but the point is, I'm 13. I have years before I can finish whatever exams your talking about. Do you mean to ask me to go on "trying" without any support from anyone? I'm sorry I can't do that. I'm so done with trying. There's a limit to how much a person can try. You can argue that I get support on 7 Cups. While that's true and I'm incredibly grateful for that, I don't think it's enough to sustain me five years if I have no support from anyone in real life.
Yes, the person was a little older with you but I did work with them for at least two years. I know that it feels like 7 Cups isn't enough. I get that. But there are people in your real life who could also support you. You just haven't found them yet. You aren't looking to survive 5 years until you graduate. You are looking to survive until you find some support. That could be tomorrow.
You are also always your own best form of support. You don't need to entirely rely on yourself, but it really helps if you are looking for ways to feel better rather than depending on others.
How about answering my question - something good and something bad that happened today. Think less long term. @exuberantBlackberry9105
@bestVase7265 It's good to hear that you were able to work with them for two whole years! Yeah, perhaps, but I don't think I'll ever find someone to support me in my real life.
How I wish that was true, but it's not. I am no my best form of support. When I was younger I used to think that the only person who loves me is myself and the only person I love is myself and that the only person who will always be there for me and support me is myself. But that really has changed now. I hate myself, I can't see any good in me, and I am unable to love and support myslef or be there for myself all the time.
Well, one good thing that happened today is that my mother's been an a rather okay-okay mood since afternoon today. She also allowed me to buy makeup for our school annual day performance this Saturday. One awful things that happened today is that my mother yelled at me so bad in the morning and it made me feel terrible the entire day. Also, another bad thing is that I went to school today even though i didn't want to, and not a single class happened. We didn't study in school at all.
Know that I am willing to support you as long as you need. That other person just contacted me again tonight. It was just a check in but we are still connected to one another.
We can try to stay focused on what you report each day for a bit. I know that you don't feel like you can love yourself enough right now. That's okay. Reaching out is enough.
It is great that your mother was nice enough in the morning to let you get the makeup. Tell me more about the event where you are going to wear it. Hopefully school will be a bit better when you go tomorrow. @exuberantBlackberry9105
@bestVase7265 Well, I'm glad you're willing to do that. I'm not a very fun person to be around. But maybe if you want to talk to me, we could make a thread just for us two to talk?
Ah, you misunderstood something. My mother wasn't good at all last morning. She was a disaster in the morning. She was just a little better after I came home from school. Also, all she really allowed me to buy was foundation. It's a good thing I already have kajal, blush and lipstick, or I'd look like a ghost with just foundation on. Well, I have to wear makeup for the annual day this Saturday. Annual day is basically a performance in school that happens every year. It's got drama, dances, and a choir. It's compulsory for all students to participate unless you can provide a "valid reason" to opt out. All the parents come to see the performance, which happens in the school amphitheater.
Yes, I would love to start a thread just for us if that would be easier for you. I will admit though that I have no idea how to do that. If you can figure it out, let me know. I usually just continue longer threads on something like this. Other people usually give up on adding in their thoughts because they realize how long the conversation is.
Yes, I realized after I posted that I might have the timing off as to when things had occurred for you. It is challenging to remember everything someone else has said after you start posting. I apologize.
You don't have to be a lovely person to be around right now. You are using this thread to sort through stuff. That is never a fun process where you somehow glow with joy at the beginning. You work hard to get to a better spot.
So what is your favorite thing about the annual school event? It doesn't have to be something really big. It could be a memory of when you went when you were younger. It could just be wearing the makeup. @exuberantBlackberry9105
@bestVase7265 I'm happy to hear that you'd like a separate thread for us. Oh, that's fine, I can go ahead and create the thread. We can create that kinda thread just like any other thread, we can just tag each other and put it somewhere that it's for us two. Everyone can see and reply t it if they want, but I'll primarily be just for us two. 😃
I agree, it is indeed challenging to remember remember everything in a post once we start replying. We're humans, not robots, and that's nothing but natural. I get it. I usually find it easier if I open up two tabs on my browser while replying to forum posts. On one, I keep the post I'm replying to open, and on the other, I type my reply. I can just keep switching between the post and my reply as needed.
Aw, thanks for that, Vase.
Good question, but I don't really like anything bout the annual day. It's not a fun experience at all, it's incredibly tiring, and this year, it's painful too. Nothing about it, the practice, the costume, the makeup, nothing is fun. I have my reasons for saying this. No, not even wearing the makeup is fun, and turns out the foundation I bought this time is a terrible one. It's too light a shade for me and looks ashy (and my mother wouldn't allow me to get a darker shade), it doesn't have good coverage, and it's very cakey. 😞
Ok, now I get to show my true stupidity when it comes to tech. Sigh. You very nicely set up a spot for us to do this more privately. I opened it and then returned to look at your message from this thread, but I didn't even think of doing it on separate tabs. So I lost my ability to add to the thread you established. Sigh. I am not usually this dumb, I promise. Retag me or set me up on a new thread and I won't make mistakes again.
I had just a few too many people to get in touch with last night so I might have been one day off. Again, apologies.
Sorry that the festival part of things wasn't fun for you this time around. How has school been going? Were there any small moments of joy in the last few days (eating an ice cream or seeing a cloud count)? @exuberantBlackberry9105
@bestVase7265 Hey there! I'm super duper sorry for my late response. There's been a lot going on here so I'm sorry I'm replying so late.
You are not stupid. Not all of us handle tech very well, and that's totally okie! I'm happy to help you if you need help with anything.
I'm not sure what you meant by "You very nicely set up a spot for us to do this more privately." But just so you know, the forum thread i set up is not private. It's a forum thread just like any other forum thread, everyone can see it and everyone and respond to it if they want. It's just a space for us to talk instead of continuing our convo on this thread.
Just because you weren't able to open up a seperate tab doesnt make you dumb, i promise. It's okay to make mistakes.
Don't worry about it, if you wany to open the thread for us, here's a link: https://www.7cups.com/forum/generalsupport/General_2440/AplaceforVaseandBerey_316658/
If you're on a phone, (assuming you're on browser and not 7Cups app) long press the link and a box should pop up with a couple of options, select 'Open in new tab'. On most phones, I think you should be able to switch between tabs by swiping near the URL bar (provided you dont have the keyboard open) or by clicking on the small square with a number inside (which indicates the no. of tabs you've got open) and then choosing the desired tab. That's how you switch back and forth between tabs. (For example you can switch between this reply of mine and that post where you can type your response. Or if you're responding to the same thread my previous response is on, you can open the same post in two tabs and type your respnse in one of the tabs and have my reponse open on the other.) I hope I'm not too confusing and that makes sense.
If you're on a computer, right click on the link and a box should pop up with a couple of options, select 'Open in new tab'. You should be able to see all your tabs on the top of the screen above the URL bar, though this depends on your browser settings, I'm talking about how i see it on my browser. From the tab bar, you can switch back and forth to see your desired tab properly. I hope i have explained this properly, if I'm too confusing, lemme know.
Also, in general when you want to open a new tab without a link, (on a phone or computer) you can select more options (three dots) on the top right corner of your browser screen and select 'New tab'. I hope that helps. 🙂 if you have any questions or if I'm too confusing, let me know and I'm happy to help if i can.
Thanks for asking how school's going. Well, right now we have Diwali holidays which started on 8th november and school reopens on 21st November. I'm sadly not able to really enjoy my holidays right now because everything is very hectic now that my mother's far away because my grandfather had a stroke. Even my father and i might have to travel to where my grandfather lives because he's in the hospital, he's unstable and most of the time, he's unconscious. He's 86 already and we dont know how much longer he's around or if he'll make it to his 87th birthday (9th december).
But yeah, there sure have been some small moments of joy in the last few days. No i haven't eaten ice cream, I'm not allowed to eat ice cream unless in May. And no, i haven't seen any white fluffy clouds. Nivember is supposed to be the time for white fluffy clouds in the sky, but right now we can just see dark clouds some days and a cloudless sky the other days. But yeah, i have had a few moments of a tiny bit of joy.
Hey, I think you should consider seeing a therapist about this. School is super hard and stressful but always remember that life will get better. Talking it out with a medical professional Can really help get things off your chest.
@Katsuddon Hi there! Thank you for your suggestion. I really appreciate your effort to help. However, I am sadly not able to see a therapist or any medical professional, for that matter. And it's not because I am unwilling to see one, it's because I'm a teen and I can't see a doctor unless my parents take me. And they take me to a terrible doctor, that too, only if I'm really sick.
@exuberantBlackberry9105
You are strong. That sounds so so shallow and easy to say but the fact that you're here, still fighting for yourself even with everything you've been through, you're sharing and reaching out, you're incredible.
You can get through this. There's a reason everyone says it gets better. There is a reason that everyone says it gets better. That's never from passive dealing though- it's up to you to keep fighting, keep adventuring and exploring this crazy life, however you want it to be. Take beautiful risks like these: hold doors open for people and give them a compliment as they pass, introduce yourself to people with a simple 'hi, what's your name?' And then follow with yours, take charge of taking care of a houseplant, do that thing youve always wanted to do with your hair or clothing, learn to bake something and share it with others-
Do not let anyone tell you that your life doesn't matter just because you don't think your life isn't taking up space in other people's lives (which it can and should). You are worth every moment and every effort and every beautiful thing this world has to offer, you just have to listen for it and find it and it will be so easy to ignore being "beneficial" to others when all you are trying to do is live. Life, having a heartbeat, thinking for yourself, it's such an adventure. I wouldn't want you to miss it for anything.
I'm proud of you :) you don't need my or anyone's approval though, just yours. You are incredible.
Go forth and live.
@linvi Hey! Thank you so much for saying that, it means a lot to me.
But can I? Can I really get through this? I don't think so. Every day is harder than the previous day. It tires me like anything. Does it really get better? Not everybody says it does. I have seen my mother's life become worse every day.
I'm sorry, but I am not really a social person. I would not want to give someone whom I don't know, a compliment, because I know that they'd make some wrong sense out of that. Also, why'd I ask someone's name if I already know it? Nobody needs to know my name, I much prefer being a quiet person few people know, an those who know me know me well.
There's a lot I'd like to do with my hair. I want long shiny hair. But do I get to have it? NO way! My parents won't allow me to have long hair until I am "old enough to take care of it", whatever they mean by it. Also, I can't go much more than shoulder length if they won't let me use conditioner. I am not even allowed to choose my own shampoo.
Clothes? Well, while I ultimately do get to choose what clothes I want, do you know how limited my options are? Hm… why would I take care of a houseplant by the way? Oh, and I'm sorry but we can't bake at home because our microwave doesn't allow for that and we don't have any appropriate utensils to bake in a pressure cooker.
I never think nor have I ever thought that my life isn't taking up space in other people's lives. I think it's taking up too much space in other people's lives. And I do not like that. I get that you don't want me to miss the adventure of my life, but I do. It is indeed a very boring, and tiring adventure. It gets unbearable so many times and good things almost never happen.
@exuberantBlackberry9105
Additude is key. And look at the opposite perspective: do you think of any well-meaning person as taking up too much space in your life?
And that's entirely your perception of yourself, meaning it's something you can control, and I believe in you :) and who cares what people think anyway
I can't think of a single reason why some random classmate's opinion matters, least of all when your happiness is concerned
And life gets better: when you want it to. desire followed with action. Getting better isn't just waiting for it to happen, you do have to take some steps that feel so incredibly hard but look at what humans are accomplishing and have accomplished throughout history when they realized they could :) it's up to you to decide what you can control and improve (there's always something you can control) but I believe in you fully :)
@linvi That's a really good question. Well, no, I don't think of any well-meaning person as taking up too much space in my life.
I'm being honest here, I might pretend that I don't care about what people think of me, by the truth is, I do care about it.
Okay, but what steps could I possibly take to make my life better? I don't think there's much for me to do, my life is literally not in my hands. My mother has to interfere in everything.
@exuberantBlackberry9105 it wasn't your mistake. I hope you are better now!
@BismaKanwal Hello there! I wonder what isn't my mistake? I'm sorry, but I am not really feeling any better now.
@exuberantBlackberry9105
I know I've already replied but I figured why not just reply a different way, keeps it interesting.
It sounds like you need someone to vent to, and here is the perfect place. Every day you could give a summary of your day, what went well and what didn't. But one thing you have to remember is to find something good. Even one thing. Don't forget that even if you don't feel okay you're still allowed to find something beautiful, like the weather, or anything that stands out even a little.
Would that help? Vent here? But don't focus entirely on negative. I propose a challenge I think you're up for: find one good thing in each day. Just one, you can do it :) give yourself this
@linvi Thanks for your support again, Linvi!
Well, I sure would love to vent, but I'm not sure if this is the right place. I find it hard to summarise things but rather like to give a lot of details. Unfortunately the details are sometimes a bit too much, and I'm not sure if it would be okay to share so much publicly on the forums. That's why I usually prefer venting more privately, like with a listener. But that sadly means I have nowhere to vent when my listener's on a break...
It's never your fault. My mom told me to get hit by a car on a highway and my dad was only to abort me. Mom still tells me every single day how I'm just blocking her future and path. It's hard sometimes and it becomes too much but that's their problem. No one here begged to be born. You just be yourself and ignore them.
As someone who doesn't know how to deal with this s, I can't advice you anything good but things get better when you try to dismiss them.
@MIKItheAizawa Hey there! I am really sorry to hear that your parents treat you that way. You don't deserve it and it's really unfortunate when parents do this. I'm going through the same thing and I feel your pain. ❤
Sadly, it's just too much for me to ignore. Subtract the 7 hours of school, and I am around my parents pretty much 24 hours a day. Maybe 17 hours a day on weekdays but surely 24 hours on weekends. When I have to listen to all that so often, it really gets into my head, and it's too much to ignore. I really wish I could, but I can't. And it gets particularly hard to ignore when they contradict themselves so often. For instance, my mother will sometimes tell me that I am a blessing she has received. But she says that less and less often these days and instead says that I am stopping her progress every step of the way. It's confusing, and it's hard to ignore.
@exuberantBlackberry9105
Based of the conversation I already found some blessings
1.) A friend like @Cottonn to talk to.
2.) A device to get on a website like this.
3.) A voice, to speak your troubles.
4.) A mother, even if she seems to believe your a burden, I don't think she does, or at least not completely. Do people keep burdens or want to get rid of them as fast as they can? If she believed that you were a burden completely, do you think she would be cooking for you? Do you belive she would allow you to live with her?
5.) A mother.
6.) A roof over your head.
@Sully012251 I meant the conversation with like @cottonn. And the rest on here. I added to the blessings:
7.) support
8.) Care from others(I know our opinions don't man much but we CARE about you on here.)
@Sully012251 Wow, that's so sweet of you buddy! Thank you so much. 😊
As for my mother and me being a burden, i asked her about it the other day and she told me that she's taking care of me and letting me stay because she's my mother and she has no other option. I honestly think she does have other options, but those are incredibly unethical. I think she does see me as a burdern but cooks for me and lets me stay with her because she's my mother and it's supposed to be her duty to do at least that much for her child. No, people generally don't keep burderns, but sometime they have to if they can't find a way to get rid of them, is what i think.
Thank for you much for this by the way. Take care. ♥
@exuberantBlackberry9105
who said that someone else's negative opinion of you is all there is to you?
you are so much more than anyone can see, and no one else can convince anyone of that for you, if you want frustrating people in your to believe in you you have to do it first
I'm glad you're here
@linvi I agree. I have been thinking of ways to respond for a while and I could not say anything netter to you.
@Sully012251 sorry that was for @exuberantBlackberry9105 as well.
@linvi I think you're right, there's more to me than other people's negative opinions about me. Most people probably don't see the full version of me. Hmm... I don't think I got what you meant by "if you want frustrating people in your to believe in you you have to do it first" What do I have to do first?
I'm glad you too are here buddy. I know that things are hard right now, but know that I'm happy to see you here. Please remember that you aren't alone and we want you here. 💙
@exuberantBlackberry9105
if you want frustrating people in your life to stop being frustrating, one of the best things you can do is to begin believing in yourself and realizing how amazing you are
Because people who want to take you down can't hurt you if they don't think they can
youre strong, incredibly strong and I'm so proud of you :)
@exuberantBlackberry9105
thank you btw
that means a lot, you have no idea
I'm here for you too
@linvi Hey hey! My apologies for the late reply.
You're absolutely right, but honesty, it's hard to believe in myself especially when things are hard, i don't think i'm amazing, really.
Aww... thank you for your kind words. They mean a lot to me. *hugs if okay*
@exuberantBlackberry9105
I know you feel alone and I know You know that ur not
but you can always come here and find a super supportive group.
@CookiesCoyote007 You're right, i know I'm not alone but i still feel alone because sometimes it feels like i have to go through it alone.
Right, 7 Cups is always here to provide a supportive place for me. I'm incredibly grateful for that.