I don’t know how to continue

@laughingchair3578

You do matter.

Your life is important.

You would be missed.

Life is fleeting and it's precious and I'm sorry that the very people who are meant to make you feel loved and seen didn't, but you can life a happy and fulfilled life, you have alot to offer, life can be great and you deserve to find people who bring this out in you, never give up, things always get better 💜💕

A trapped soul, that wishes to just get a glimpse of a place outside its vessel..

Everytime it reaches out it's transparent hands, it gets cut... over and over...

Questioning why, crying it out, saying: "Why me? can all the other souls fly freely, but I get stuck in this... body?"

And the soul.

It's not just trapped, it's tortured.

Tortured as it witnesses those around her flying freely without any trouble.

As if... it's attempts are meaningless..

Some other souls pass by, saying:

"You are not alone, you have souls around you who cares"

But.. that soul... it cannot believe it.

Because what her emotions say, is otherwise.

My dear friend, what you expressed, I'm sure that it's just a small amount of the pain you endured.

The pain nobody saw and felt, but you.

The pain that feels meaningless.

It's the kind of pain not everyone deserves.

Especially not you.

You're 15, you're not a kid, and you're not an adult either, you're a teen, the mistakes you make don't deserve harsh judgment, especially not the words that come out of your terrible parent's snake tongues.

You tried to "fix" your self and your self esteem by trying to change how you look.

Whether you meant changing how you look or just adjusting your style... either way, I can see you were trying.

Trying to feel worthy in a place that makes you feel like you're nothing if you don't obey and perform.

But... my dear friend... I know that external beauty gives people advantage, and more acceptance compared to people who aren't very attractive.

But you should understand this part about people.

A person who is only attracted to a person just for their looks, is a person who is not mature, and clearly not suitable for a real relationship.

Those who start with complimenting the looks, putting the second person on a pedestal.

They are not mature enough for such thing.

And your soft, yet firm soul, that's shaped in a puzzle yet to be unraveled.

People who are aware, people... like us.. who don't want to hurt others, life can feel like a dark souls boss, without having your character stats on high levels.

Thus it can be really difficult sometimes to find a romantic partner.

And whether you choose to be with one or not, you deserve to try out things of all kinds, the good, and the bad.

Because you're still a teen, young, but adventurous.

It’s not your fault if the world makes it hard to find people who see you for who you are.

That doesn’t mean you’re unlovable, it means you’re rare.

I’m not telling you this to teach you. I’m saying it because it hurt me to see how you were treated like an object, when all you wanted was to feel like a person.

We are all human beings.

Our humanity, is the only precious thing that we have.

Only those who've shown care for us are worth giving it to.

Like a lot of the people here, in this place.

Like you, who only wanted to be treated like a human.

I don't know you, and I may not understand you as much as you understand yourself.

But you're allowed to express yourself here, always.

Feel free to express your emotions here, it's a safe place.

It's better than nothing, right?

Even if you just write out your top 5 favorite sea animals, there is some communities for fun topics like that that you can express.

You never know.

(I love sand sharks, they look so weird and goofy, just saying)

Nobody here is looking to fix you, you are not broken, you are just on a journey.

And I wish you a happy one!