I'm fine - Unmasking Words
Hey Community 🙃
Over the years, we have all had this 'habit' of meeting people and being like 'Hi, how are you?' 😀
Some people answer this 'i'm fine' or 'i'm okay' 🙃❤️ and there is this almost expectation to be okay, we are often scared to not be okay, scared of judgement and assumptions, or maybe we just can't find the courage to tell someone we are not okay and we need help and everything's breaking apart ❤️❤️ I know.
Because opening up is hard❤️and I hear you because we have all experienced it at some point in life 💜 I'm so proud of you for fighting and standing here today.
And opening up takes time. ❤️ and its totally okay if it's difficult to open up right now.
We learn and grow and feel, we find coping mechanisms, bad days, good days, meh days , some days we hit rock bottom 💜🥺Everyday is a new day 🤗
So thank you for being here. Your presence makes all the difference 💜 sometimes we realise that communities and support systems like 7cups and therapists and crisis lines exist because ... some days we are just not okay 🥺 and we aren't fine. ❤️
*Sending hugs and comfort if okay*
Text on image:
""sometimes all you can do is smile. Move on with your day, hold back your tears and pretend everything is okay""
❤️ bunny ❤️
@amiableBunny4016
Sending you big *hugs* ❤️
@SparkyGizmo
❤️*Sending you even bigger hugs* ❤️
@amiableBunny4016
❤️❤️❤️
@RIP3Khloe 🥺 Feel better please
@roshislistening
❤️❤️❤️thank you for tagging someone!
@amiableBunny4016 one of the hardest questions to answer is - How are you? Do you answer honestly? Or do you tell that easy little white lie and say I'm fine or I'm ok?
@mytwistedsoul
Hey,
It is one of the hardest questions 🥺💜 honestly it's so difficult to open up :( it's like we don't know how to answer it anymore because we are used to saying we are fine. I agree with you! 💜💜 *Sending hugs and good vibes if okay*
@amiableBunny4016
Hi Bunny! 😊❤️ Thank you for creating this forum post! Everything that you said highly resonates with me. I've been thinking about your post more and more over the days. I love how you have let us all know that it's okay, to not feel okay! ❤️
I feel like that in society, others asking us "How are you"? many times is simply a nicety and a protocol for polite interactions. Many times people say this or ask this of us, however they really might not be truly interested in how it is that we are doing. The expectation is for us to say "fine" or something of that sort.
The laws of reciprocity and politeness then require us to ask "How are you doing" in turn.
My first thought was that it's okay to say "I'm fine" if it's someone that you feel isn't really interested in how it is that we are doing, but simply making an effort to be polite . It's okay to save that information for people that are trusted and seen as your "soft spot to land", people that truly care and are willing to listen to you, people that care about your emotional well being and are invested in your happiness. ❤️
My second thought in regard to the question "How are you?", has been born of an interesting behavior that I have noticed/caught on to in real life, from a rare few. We, as people, may say "I'm fine" and so we must then ask "How are you?" Law of reciprocity, right?
I've noticed that at times others may ask "How are you?" simply in an effort to be asked the question in return and then to do what is called "emotional dumping". They have asked this question of you simply to "set the stage" and open up dialogue for them to burden you.
If you find someone consistently doing this to you, it's not a good sign in my opinion. This doesn't represent true friendship and in fact is quite manipulative and potentially preying upon your kindness. The relationship can become quite "unbalanced" with someone eventually becoming somewhat of an "energy vampire".
It's okay to have your own problems, issues, things that you deal with in life. It's okay to not have the energy or the time to be consistently burdened with the problems of others. It's okay to set boundaries with others if you feel that you are being asked "How are you" simply in an attempt for them to "set the stage".
Bunny, thank you again for yet another amazing forum post! 😊 ❤️
*high fives* 😊 and big *hugs* ❤️
@SparkyGizmo
I wholeheartedly agree with everything you said here! 💛
@LoveMyMoonflowers
Thank you so very much Moon! 😊❤️ Thank you for seeing the value in me as well as my response!
*high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️
@SparkyGizmo
*sends high fives and hugs right back atcha* 💕😊
@LoveMyMoonflowers
❤️❤️❤️
@SparkyGizmo
Hi Gizmo! 💜 I really appreciate your response! I agree with everything you said here!
Sometimes we get used to saying we are 'fine' and often the phrase 'how are you?' Is often to set up the conversation ❤️
And yes, sometimes we say we are fine to people who we think might not be interested 💜
I absolutely love your explanation and it's so interesting to hear about what you think! 🥺 you give a clear understanding and I love how you wrote this! ❤️
Of course! Thank you so much for your kindness❤️ I appreciate you so so much! 💜🥺
*Sending hugs if okay* 🥺💜
Bunny
@amiableBunny4016
@mytwistedsoul
Many thanks my sweet friend! 😊 ❤️ Thank you for seeing the value in me as well as my contributions!
I think the credit really does go to you as well as @mytwistedsoul 😊❤️
I'm a huge fan of your work here in the forum areas as well as Soul's and I should have tagged them in my earlier response to you. Their response as well as your post was my "muse" for finding a way to contribute. ❤️
There was something very special about your post that I couldn't "let go of". I'm a global forum supporter so for me, I have the luxury of replying to posts that, well.......make my *heart sing* ❤️ in some way, shape or form. This works best to for me as a human being, as I try to "walk a path of authenticity". If I feel that I have nothing of value to add to a post that I might end up seeing, then I do not contribute to it and I am able to move along.
There was something very special about your post that had me "stewing in my juices" lol 😊 (thinking and feeling). Your post *captured my heart* ❤️. I've been following it and I think the comment from @mytwistedsoul ended up being my *tipping point* for me to move forward and to share.
*high fives* 😊 big *hugs*❤️ and keep rocking the house my sweet friends! Stay great! 😊
@SparkyGizmo @mytwistedsoul
I totally agree with you Gizmo. Soul has a beautiful yet inspiring way of writing and is doing so much for 7cups! 💜 soul definetly deserves recognition for all they do on 7cups! Soul has also helped me in my diary thread and been so so supportive and lovely! Always making my day! ❤️🥺 thank you soul!
@amiableBunny4016 @mytwistedsoul
Agreed 🥺💕 Soul's owlways been so inspiring and supportive 🤗💜
@amiableBunny4016
❤️❤️❤️
@amiableBunny4016 What if you've pretending your whole life and just want a break from it
@Sweet2Ash
Hii,
I hear you about pretending to be okay and wanting to break out of it :( opening up is a difficult process and often we get stuck in situations :( bottling up emotions can be really overwhelming and tiring and I understand 💜 we take small steps , deep breaths ❤️. Small steps to getting better. I'm really proud of you. Being here and talking to people is a good first step :)
@amiableBunny4016 It is really difficult to open up. People sometimes seem to get upset or disappointed if you say you're anything other than fine or ok. You write such wonderful thoughts provoking posts Bunny 💙
@SparkyGizmo ❤️ Do you have any idea how amazing you are? You write such wonderful and thoughtful replies to everyone. Your first reply to Bunny here really hit home for me. The credit is all Bunny's for writing such an awesome post
@LoveMyMoonflowers I think you're supportive and inspiring too 💙 It really touched me to have you check in on me
Y'all are gonna make me cry!
I'd like you all to know that when I ask How are you I genuinely DO want to know. You're always welcome to share the good - the bad and the ugly with me. I feel that YOU'RE the inspiring ones. No matter what you're going through or dealing with you always offer support to one another and give each other that safe soft place to land and I think that is such a beautiful thing
*sending you all the bestest of vibes and dozens of hugs* 💙❤️💙
@mytwistedsoul
*sending good vibes and hugs right back atcha* 🤗💕
Aww, Soul (': Whenever you ask 'how are you' I owlways feel that you really mean it and you really care 💜 You're one of those rare people who really do genuinely care about others 💕
Thank you so much :3 I appreciate you owlways 💜🤗
@LoveMyMoonflowers Thank you for being you! 😊 I was caught by a tidal wave of hugs and good vibes. Owlways 😊 I like that 💙
@mytwistedsoul
Sorry for late reply. Bunny was doing homework :( awwww Soul! ❤️ we just gonna pass the credit like 'pass the parcel' onto each other! Your so sweet soul 💜 I appreciate you so much and you mean alot to me! 💞 thank you for being a wonderful support! All the same goes to you 💜
Bunny 🐰
@amiableBunny4016 You're never late - you're right on time! Homework? ewwww! 😝 I think we could make pass the parcel last for years lol! I appreciate you too! 💙
@mytwistedsoul
Thank you my sweet friend! 😊 ❤️ It really does mean the world to me that you see value in me, my response today, as well as, other responses prior.
You inspired me and greatly! I find you to be nothing short of amazing! I'm a huge fan of your work here on the platform! I respect you, I admire you and I agree with what everyone else said, that you are one of the great "unsung hero's" on this platform. ❤️
If my response "hit home" for you, I think I just heard *angels sing* 😇 You *live" in my response. You were the part of the impetus for me to respond as well as the *tipping point*. ❤️
*high fives* 😊 big *hugs*❤️ wonderful and kind Soul!
@SparkyGizmo It's not just your words that have value but the wonderful kind heart you have. Because I feel that's where your words come from - the heart. You made me blush alittle lol! I see YOU as one of the unsung heros here because you give so much of yourself to us here. You are a soother of souls - an emissary of encouragement and empathy. You're the awesome one Giz - I'm just following your lead ❤️
@mytwistedsoul
❤️❤️❤️
@SparkyGizmo @mytwistedsoul
Loving the support here!💜
@amiableBunny4016
❤️❤️❤️
@SparkyGizmo
You all are too sweet. 😭😭
@amiableBunny4016
Oh my gosh, that looks like me! 😭 My eyes have "welled up" a few times today here in this thread.
big big *hugs* ❤️ sweet one!
@SparkyGizmo
Don't worry we all tear up now and then 💜💜😭🥺 I'll cry with you. Had a bad day anyway 💜💜💜💜💜