I'm not sure what to do
In recent weeks I have lost most of my friends,well one of them texted me and just didn't commuicate they were taking time away so now we are friends and we've hardly spoken so not much has changed for me. I've been agoraphobic/housebound for a few years- I am in therapy and working on this but recently I feel like I've lost hope for my life.
It feels hard to keep hope when everything revolves around 'when I'm better' ,and in therapy we work on trauma and edmr and I have seen improvments but I just I wonder when will it happen when I feel better? When will I have to stop giving myself pep talks and reminders that I am worthy of love,a life, and that things will be different. I feel so frustrated bc I am trying so hard to be better and to do the right things but I also loose motivation and all I want is to stay in bed for days,not eat and just sleep.
I know this is irrational and I don't have anyone to talk to about this but how do you deal with life when you feel hopeless? How do you do the things you're supposed to (i.e. journal,eat right,sleep early) when it feels so hard? How do you keep doing the things that are good for you and have hope when it feels that you're stuck,and like you're missing out on life- or that you're the only going through something heavy like this? How do you continue to go through this,even if you have no idea what the future looks like? How can you have faith for life? Nonetheless your life?
@modorange07
It is difficult to not be depressed when living for "someday" when you are better etc. I did this for a long time once in my life. The thing I learned was not only did I lose over a year of time but those around me were also held hostage in the "maybe when I am better carousel ", Some simply did not wait or grew tired of trying to be supportive and nothing changed.
Each person is different, and you are doing therapy to work on this. What are your goals on a time frame of leaving a house or being ready to do things? do you feel you have a plan other than waiting for the issues to resolve itself and feel better to happen.
I will say when I realized how much time and experiences or friends, I missed, I took the action to find ways to push myself back into life. it was hard sometimes I want to retreat back into my cocoon. As you observe your friends or others out there participating in life ... it is not that they are not scared or panicked it is they do those things even when they may not want to.
