I moved for a fresh start, but nothing feels stable
Moved to a new city 4 months ago to start fresh, and honestly nothing has settled the way I hoped.
Not asking for a perfect life or some movie-like transformation, but it feels like every basic thing has been difficult, bad housing experiences, losing money because of landlords, poor sleep, work politics, loneliness, constantly feeling mentally “on edge.” Even when I try to improve things, workshops, going out, meeting people, spending money on experiences something still feels off.
What’s confusing me is I can’t tell whether this is:
just a hard adjustment period,
the city genuinely not being right for me,
or something internal that would follow me anywhere.
A lot of my close friends are married now or living their own lives in different places, which I completely understand, but it also makes this phase feel strangely isolating.
I’m trying hard to make things work, but lately I keep wondering: how do you know whether to stay and push through a difficult phase, or accept that an environment is draining you?
Curious if anyone else has gone through this after moving somewhere new.
@Lynda30
🤩Congratulations for taking the big step. So many never move to new city place out of fear. we all like to be in our own comfort zone. that is why it is a comfort zone. Only the brave strike out like you.
Perhaps we all have watched one too many rom coms where we meet all new people and everything goes smooth. It takes time, sometimes a lot longer than we imagine and only you can judge if this is not for you.
it is about attitude as well, although I moved with a partner, I had a harder time adjusting because I feared what would happen next or go wrong and they had an "all will work out " outlook.
In general, a few bumps here and there but it did work out.
Thank you so much for your positive words.
Yes, I do agree it’s all about attitude. And that’s exactly why I am trying my best to stay here and work things out.
I’m not embarrassed to share this. When I called my sister and mentioned that I wanted to move out from here, she asked me one important question: “Will you really be happy in another place?”
That question hit me hard.
So now, a deep search within myself is going on.
At the same time, I’m not denying the reality of what I’m dealing with here. It hasn’t been a smooth road.
But again, let’s see :)
@Lynda30
Hi, it sounds that you ask good questions here trying to stay self-aware. Do you have reasons to think it is about your attitude? Did you have similar feelings before the move? I think everybody experiences moving differently. I personally don't like it. It takes me time to adjust and find some rhythm.
Hii, thank you for your reply. You used the right word “self-awareness.”
There is a deep restlessness within me, and I can sense it. What is that? I believe it comes from missing familiarity, and when I don’t get that sense of comfort, I become nervous, and this happens.
But you know, I strongly believe that some places are meant for you and some are not. That’s why I am still in this city, trying to adjust, while at the same time working on my discomfort and learning to be comfortable with it.
I had a similar experience when I moved a few years ago. I also had terrible housing experiences and landlords, had a really though time making friends and just in general everything kept going wrong at first, I almost gave up and moved back home. It took about a year for things to start falling into place, but when it eventually did it was great and It gave me a great sense of acomplishment, I built that life for myself and overcame every dificulty. Adjusting to a new city where you don't know anyone and have no support system isn't easy and it takes time, but it can be very fullfilling.
That being said, that was just my experience, and we're not all the same. If it trully isn't working out in a way where it's affecting your mental health and you feel like you really need to move back home or move somewhere else just do it, there's no reason to force something that isn't good for you. But if you really want to live where you live now and just feel like giving up because things aren't going great I'd say you should hang in there, it really does take time and effort to adjust to a full new life. Just do what feels best for you!
I had a similar experience when I moved a few years ago. I also had terrible housing experiences and landlords, had a really though time making friends and just in general everything kept going wrong at first, I almost gave up and moved back home. It took about a year for things to start falling into place, but when it eventually did it was great and It gave me a great sense of acomplishment, I built that life for myself and overcame every dificulty. Adjusting to a new city where you don't know anyone and have no support system isn't easy and it takes time, but it can be very fullfilling.
That being said, that was just my experience, and we're not all the same. If it trully isn't working out in a way where it's affecting your mental health and you feel like you really need to move back home or move somewhere else just do it, there's no reason to force something that isn't good for you. But if you really want to live where you live now and just feel like giving up because things aren't going great I'd say you should hang in there, it really does take time and effort to adjust to a full new life. Just do what feels best for you!
