Isolated

@Deepfry

Have you asked yourself why?   are you worried they won't like you deep down ?   Or perhaps you cannot be the same to them. 

We all have superficial us and while we can go thru life like that ...........Finding someone or a few  people who really can listen and know the deep down us   and talk deeper and call me out  when needed ... it  is liberating.....  

I find being my own sounding board works because i have not yet accomplished the ability to BS myself.   But I need a person like that to vent and let go of my deep thoughts or worries... 

@Deepfry 

When you disappear, is it because you start to feel uncomfortable? It may take some time to build trust with someone. By returning later you can start again and by finding a way to share your vulnerable side, the other person / people can be aware. If you are able to, you may want to simply acknowledge that you start to feel a certain way and you chose to leave the situation rather than stick around, in that moment, but it was not because of anything the other person did or said. Building yourself up is a journey. I don't know your story, but "fight or flight" is a common thing, and there are ways to work through it.  Try not to blame yourself, but seek to understand yourself. You are enough. You have value. If you want to make a change, it is inside you to find a way forward. Take care.

@deepfry
 Trauma does play a huge role in the way we interact and form interpersonal connections in our lives. While it may seem like you are blaming trauma, it may also be a way of acknowledging and coming face to face with the fact that "trauma is making me react like this". And that is very valid, that's really okay, its okay that what you went through before has made building relationships hard and im really sorry to hear that. Honestly, self isolation can seem more comforting than facing people sometimes. 
But that begs the question, "What about the trauma has made it so hard to build relationships?", 
"What part of you is deeply affected by the trauma?". "What about it is making you self-isolate?", "what makes it hard for you to reach out"... and so forth

Reflecting on yourself, being mindful about how all these affect you, can surely help you. And its completely fine, if it seems overwhelming or if you feel stuck. Those are all valid. And its all part of the process, but while you are at it, i would like to remind you that, you are never alone. We, listeners and members at 7cups, we've got your back, and we will always encourage you to keep going a step forward. 💜
sending you the warmest hugs (if its okay)