Losing at life

I don't why but whenever I look at people around me and see them leading a normal life, my neurodibergent mind wishes that my life like them. People perceive as an irritating person and they like to keep me isolated of I get too close them and never want me near them, this is why I became an introvert when I am not, I am not scared to talk to ppl but I am scared of them treating me in a horrible way

I used to like a guy and obviously he didnt like me back, he was very much my type, he was leading me on and had a girlfriend all throughout, he's a player, he got married to the girl he loved. Why does it all hurt so much?? No friends, no love, I keep crying looking at how I feel like a loser when I these ppl arounding me hanging out with their friends, getting married and going abroad for studies, I feel like I am lacking behind in life, my neurodivergent self would never let me lead a normal life like everyone else or is it my early twenties talking??