Maybe i am worst ..
I don't know...
I just feel soo bad and awful and wanna cry but tears just don't come out its like a silent sobbing like yearning for someone to just hold me for a while..to just hug me and says cry all u want i am here for u instead of giving those stupid logical answers ... I mean how difficult can it be to see that someone who lives with u all the time ..is not feeling well or not good at all ... i mean just so i try to act normal and shows nothing happen doesn't mean i am fine .. and my family just can't get it they just see me cracking over small things getting angry or just not liking meeting others or talking with someone which is a complete contrast of my personality but they can't see it ... its ok i don't care ... i mean is it just me overthinking or every middle child just get disappeared in their family and why???? arn't they the part of family ofc they are .. so why always being neglected and ignored or treated like they are just a stupid *** with no importance ... I am tired soo much but noone can see it bcz they are busy obsessing over their other kids ... my mom she is obssesed with my big bro and tbh he is perfect i also admire him but now i am starting being jeleous of him or disliking him not bcz i hate him but bcz all the love he gets and my mom acts soo diff with him then with me and i hate it... or we can say she just loves everyone expect me and its ok i get it .. i am used to it i don't care ... but ofc it stings but its ok i am fine...maybe..i don't know...
ok i know i am big sister also so i need to be responsible and teach and guide my lil brother and i am not escaping i do but i am just tired i cant stand behind him and tell him to study or to do this or that all the time i am *** tired !!!! if he don't listen and ignore i started seeing myself as failure that i am not even a good sister so i just tell him twice or thrice and when he dont wanna do it or listen i tell him its up to u do whatever u want .. bcz no matter what i say its his life and i can't force him to do something when he is just ignoring me and when i don't repeat same words whole days after him my older brother says why are u elder sister then its ur responsibilty to teach him to make him do right things .... its not like i am not doing it ..I do but i just can't repeat my words whole day ... and feel awful and then when he says this to me i feel awful .. either ways its me who is worst ...yehh maybe i am a worst person , worst daughter and a worst sister ,.. thats why i don't have any true frnds to share my things or a bf or a mom who loves me ...
its ok i am fine.. i was just feeling awful so i wrote this ..maybe this will help me feel lil less awful ..
I am good ..i will be ..😇
@Jyotik005
I just wanted to say, I hear you.
I'm not going to give you those random answers.
You matter and I hope you know that 💛
@Jyotik005I feel you pal, and ik. Its so hard t deal with family issues. I hope youget through it. I'll be there with you:) speaking from experience I hate depression due to family issues.
But know this, you're never the problem
@SkilledChatter
then why its just me always alone and feel bad bcz of everything why my mom blames me all the time i mean yehh i know i am not good daughter and person but that doesn't mean i don't deserve love .. i give love so i want it in return too and its just i used to like my elder brother soo much i admired him soo much but now i am jeleous of him and i starting disliking him bcz of my mom bcz how sweetly she talks to him than me and when i do or say something when gets angry they say things to me that i should control my anger ... and this is not good for u .. blah blah and they says stupid things that makes me just shut them with everything i am feeling but i just can't . i stops myself they are not gonna understand.. all my frnds and brother have their so called true frnds and someone to lean on but i have noone like there are many people in my dms but noone i can really share my things with so maybe i am the problem ...maybe i am a wrong person ...who is bad or just i don't but they always find someone better so its ok i good with it too
@Jyotik005 its not ur fault. i understand
@SkilledChatter
ohh i am sorry u are teen urself and strugling i didn't wanted to make u feel bad if u have something u can come to me as big sister ..i would love to help u 😇
@Jyotik005 u didnt make me feel bad. i get you. im prob younger than you lol. maybe i will in the future. ill post on this timorrow, ogta sleep now(school tom😭). k bye hope it improves
@SkilledChatter
yeh maybe even if u are younger or elder u can come to me to share if u want and yehh have a good sleep .. good night 😇
@Jyotik005 hru
