Self esteem

@Cherrymariam I am so sorry you're struggling with loving yourself and self esteem. It's so unfortunate that everything you mentioned you did not find helpful. I know you mentioned you found a solution-- hate the person who "made" you hate yourself. May I ask what you think you will gain by doing that? Will hating that person suddenly make it to where you no longer have self hatred? Will hating that person suddenly make it to where when you look in the mirror you see beauty? So again, what is it you hope to gain by doing this? 

Please do not give people power over you. You are beautifully made. You've got to believe it and know it. I know words of loved ones can be hurtful, but you don't need the approval of others. If I may suggest-- fall in love with yourself. It won't happen overnight. Find something you like about yourself. Just one thing that you find likeable. There's got to be something about you, right? :) Then keep reminding yourself and then find something else. Compliment yourself. Laugh with yourself. Smile at yourself. Identify your strengths. You've got sooo much in you. Perhaps over time, that love for self will come back and that hate will go away. Perhaps you will be able to walk with your head up high, stare in the middle, make eye contact with others, etc. Perhaps, just maybe. What do you have to do. We can't rely on others solely to uplift us or make us happy. That has to come from within.

I'm just a regular person with my way of thinking who's gone through my own share of things. And if I may-- my 2 cents here-- filling your heart with hate for that specific somebody who may be to blame does not seem helpful. It should not matter what people find morally acceptable. Sometimes we have to do what's best for us. I wish you happiness, love, healing, acceptance, and peace. I hope that one day you realize just how amazing and beautifully made of a person you are. Please don't give up on yourself. You are sooo worth it in every way possible. Take care.