Spiraling out of control

I have been doing well controlling and minimising depression, until recently. I know my signs of spiralling and I’m afraid of where I’m going. My job is stressing me out but I can’t leave yet, feels like an awkward time to leave especially knowing how businesses work at this time of year. I also can’t afford to find another job that pays less so I need to search for this more. My place of work is toxic, unmotivating and soul-snatching. I used to love what I do now I hate it. I know I’m headed for trouble because I’ve stopped cooking, eating less so I’m losing weight, personal hygiene is slacking, currently staring at a pile of dirty clothes to my left and three bags of clean clothes to my right. This isn’t me and I hate living like this. My mind is always foggy, my sleep is disturbed with restlessness and all because I’m not happy with my current situation. I know I can get out but it’s a matter of time. I can’t afford to just quit because I don’t have any money saved (another battle). I’m also struggling to deal with losing my parents (4 & 5 years ago), I still can’t function without them. I talk to people but I get the same responses; “you’re strong” “I hope things work out for you” etc. I don’t even bother speaking too deeply on the matter with people because it feels like everyone has their own issues and doesn’t want to know deep down. I just want to get to a place where I have a plan with clear goals that I can work towards but I just don’t know what I want right now. I want to control my own path as best as I can, I’m open to challenges and obstacles but I just need a break. 15+ years of feeling like this makes me feel like a failure, how can I not regulate myself?