Whatever
I am not sure exactly what ramblings I am going to write down now. I just woke up from the latest nap. I tried to stay awake as much as I could to make the most of possibly my last moments with this community. My brain appointment is in a few hours and I’m trying to get motivated to get up and head into work for the short stint before my life changes some more . I’m still very afraid of what lies ahead, facing it alone is not helping. Positive thinking is pointless because other than possibly having a definitive root cause of my health issues progressively worsening, I can’t begin to imagine what positive things I have to gain from going through this today.
My anxiety is fluctuating drastically, I hopefully can keep it in check during the procedures today.
I’m sorry for what seems like all my whining ramblings the last few days. I am sorry for being such a negative person and not the positive influence needed in this community. I’m sorry for everything.
I still am thankful and extremely grateful for everyone here and for the time I had here. Thank you
@Iamwhoiamwhoami you don't need to apologize for sharing how you feel
if people had only positive things to share or were stuck on being a positive influence they wouldn't be here I guess :)
we can be as we are and express what we feel , without having to mask or fake anything because people here are non judgmental, understanding, more or less in a similar boat and I think that's what this community is more about
I am happy you could find space to share and very proud of you for trying!
@Optimisticempath Thank you . Your kindness is well received and appreciated.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami Hi. I hope you got encouraging news today.
@hopefulPond6108 Thank you for sharing your kindness and concern. No reasons behind what is happening to me have been found yet. My cognitive issues for now remain a mystery.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami Of course. Glad to see you back here.
@hopefulPond6108 Thank you, I am not sure for how much longer, but I am still here. I am still rattled from the other night here but I’m trying to figure out a way to address all these issues that are piling on me and pushing me backwards, so that I can start moving forward on the positive side of my path. I am so overwhelmed, yet I am grateful for you reaching out to me and sharing your kindness, compassion, and support. Thank you
@Iamwhoiamwhoami 
@Optimisticempath
Thank you….Very cute.
Paranoia is not a good addition to the rest. I already struggle with people now I get to be afraid of them too?