What is Depression? A Reflection.

@Fristo

What a wise, beautiful, and enlightening post, Fristo!

Your personal testimony, your transparent account of your experience, life values and goals, are jewels to treasure.

So inspiring!

Thank you for this gift!

For me depression is carrying so much hurt that the easiest thing for your mind and body to do is go numb. It's not have the energy to get through everyday necessities and feeling hopelessness.

I am currently experiencing a major depressive episode and I was only able to identify this from past experiences. Everyday I'm trying to take a small step towards healing but some days the hurt and hopelessness win.

My depression has been a 12 year journey and I've learnt there's no quick fix. I have to be patient with myself

There is indeed no quick fix or reset button with depression. You just try and do a bit more each day. But it is good to see people here feeling better and trying to pull everyone up a little each day.

Love how you've explained it all. 🩷

@Fristo

For me, Depression is when everything I enjoyed becomes an issue. People become an issue. My Dog becomes and issue. Feeling overwhelmed with things beyond my control. Loved ones putting to much on my shoulders. Sometimes a loss of Identity and self. And not caring.

I know that must be more to life beyond depression and dissociation.

I see a handful of people whom have this perfect world. They are always happy always smiling, and never say anything negative about anything. In a comical way, it makes me sick. Generally my first thought is that they are living a fake life, they lost touch with what is real? Or did they?

@Fristo

Thank you Fristo for this wonderful thread 😊👍✨

@Fristo

Depression. To everyone it's something different. It's all about the art of perceiving. How you see it. How you feel it.

For me . It's getting up in the morning yet still feeling this burden, this hurt inside of you that you can't let go of because it will always break you. It's like life becomes a tower of cards. Once you build it , it will fall apart over and over and you have to keep building it yet you become tired of this constant silence ringing inside of your ear because the words can't come out of you. The story my lips tell feel so much different to the story in my mind. So I let go of friendships and families and let myself loom in the darkness and let my self esteem crumble like biscuits . Let the world kill me with this .. darkness I sit in. Yet this darkness is almost my comfort. It's so beautiful its better than so much things I've seen in the light. So you live among others because that's what you have to do, you become silent because that will hurt others less, the things you once enjoyed are now useless to you because you have lost the motivation to love anything. Even something as simple as getting out of bed becomes harder. You have this headache that lasts forever. And the only thing you rely on is to either self harm or scream in the middle of a field where no one can hear you. Yet this all seems like a bad dream or a film. You try to convince yourself that you will wake up. You spend your silence in the crowd you never belong in. Because thats the only way to fit in. The only way to escape. Even sleeping is hard so you move from one side of the bed to the next. I hate everyone and everything yet I try to put a smile on my face and the only words that come out of your mouth is that im fine. Deep inside i know im not but lets hope i just am for the sake of living. Cant be bothered to reply to the messages or text. Decline the phone calls. Everything just falls into a new rythm. And so once again i cry and scream in fear and melt in shame. And once again..

I think I've gone insane

@Fristo

Thank you so much for this post, Fristo <3

My depression is feeling like things are hopeless and will never get better. Life is endless suffering, with a few good days sprinkled in there. It's feeling like, what is the point of anything?