compassion..? (long post)

(20nb) I have depression and had it for almost 8 years, now. I have points of where i become utterly hopeless with life, and i give up on trying to live and cope with avoiding my feelings/problems through distractions like the internet, for example. i don’t feel alive, because i feel like i am in a state of only existing. i simply am just too tired to live.

I know how exhausting it is with wanting to just wish that our problems were only bad dreams and nothing more, because it’s where i stand now. My personal problems is the reason that i am in such a point. i feel numb because of how overwhelmed i really am from life, but i still do have regret in my heart for the problems i have caused, and bitterness from the problems that i haven’t.

but what is the one thing i want to do, despite my situation? i may not know what everyone is going through, i may not be able to feel for or to even understand many people.. but i do want to help them somehow. not to befriend anyone, i am not ready / willing for that at all, but i want to shed some light onto the people also struggling with feeling overwhelmed with life. not because i feel for them, but because they are people who have their own struggles, too.

so i share my desire to you all because i am unsure on what to do with seeing so many people in pain. How can i be able to save someone, let alone countless others on the internet? How can i do this to where i won’t become too overwhelmed?