drained

I don’t normally say anything about how i’m feeling. but lately i just don’t know what to do anymore. it’s gotten so bad. i don’t want to be the way i am. i want to get better but it’s so hard and so draining and i feel so useless. i cant do anything. i haven’t eaten anything, i haven’t slept, i haven’t gotten out of bed. im so tired of everything. i want my family to see me, to notice me, but all they see is my flaws. how im not helping out, im too lazy, im never up, or im too mean. it’s just so overwhelming. i feel like i can’t do anything. i don’t want to be a burden anymore. but i’m tired of being ignored, or being put down, or just tossed aside.

i want my family to see how much i’m struggling but i don’t want to bother them. they have their own problems and i feel selfish for even writing this.