how to forgive yourself?
i m in a long distance relationship since 4 months ago, its a healthy one and this boy treats me like no one did. in the past i used to be a horible person because i used drugs,nicotine,alcohol, i had a toxic ex and it was such a horible matter of time but it turns out everything was just a lesson. i told this to my bf in the beggining and he felt a little bad but he chose to trust me and love me the most and think that i m not that person anymore. and im not, i dont smoke anymore, i dont drink anymore, i dont do drugs no more, i have better habits since being with him. but 2 days ago i had a party and i ve been with a few classmates (specifically 3 boys and a girl). i wanna say that when my boyfriend went to a party he called me and texted me and told me he loced a hundred times when he was drunk there and only hang out w the boys. i didnt do it 2 days ago, and even more i kinda betrayed him. 1 guy told me im his gf tonight and i laughed and told him to buy me drinks then. another one was drunk and came to hug me and told me he s drunk and i hugged him back and told him to go vomit,then he dissapeared. so i went looking out for him on a walk with another boy classmate holding hands because i was drunk too and i almost fell. these are the worst things i ve done. plus my awesome bf doesnt deserve this. when i was going home a number kept calling me. i didnt figure it out first because i was drunk but somebody kept saying "let me ride you home",when i figured it out it was my ex i quickly hang up. i told my boyfriend every detail he fel betrayed and told me he s been too good to me and i didnt deserve it, and he chose to forgive me instead of breaking ups with me, but he made me promise i wont drink again at parties, he blame me i have no control, said something like i was a *** and he is being extra cold we barely talk and i understand this and im being patient with him but i dont know how to handle all at a time:the regret for doin this to him and also myself, for ruinning everything we built in 4 months, the trust he has no more, the blaming. its overwhelming i dont know what to do im feeling awful
@8l1v1aA
I don't think it's his place to tell you to stop drinking, but I would encourage it, because ultimately if it makes you behave in a certain way, ultimately your relationship will suffer.
And there has to be respect and trust.
You cannot sabotage your own happiness.
You deserve to be in a healthy and fulfilled relationship but it takes work!
thanks for your kind words!
@8l1v1aA
A pleasure 💜
i think the first thing you need to do to forgive yourself is to acknowledge that what you did was wrong. that acknowledging not only did you betray your boyfriends trust but the trust you had in yourself. the second step is to think of ways to make it better. not only for your boyfriend to trust you again but for YOURSELF. you won’t like yourself if you keep on hurting someone you love. the suggestion to stop drinking at parties is a good one yes but this was supposed to come from YOU not from him. YOU should be the one trying to be better not only for him but for yourself.
thank you for your adviceð«¶ill consider it !!!
