i’m really tired
hey. i think it’s been a while since ive posted. i don’t remember.
i’m really tired. it feels like a thousands of weight are on my chest and i can’t seem to get them off. i’m not able to get out of bed. i wish i could blame something but at the end of the day…there’s nothing to blame but myself and my mind. my own cruel mind filled with thoughts so dark. i’m tired of it all. nothing is worth it anymore. nothing is enough to fix me.
@pluckyCoconut4376
enough is a funny term .... because for most we do not give basics the right credit...
when good things happen, we discount it as "yeah that was good, but it could have been more". We keep moving the goal line with the elusive " Enough" term. I mean it means different things to most people so a word without a clear definition of course things will not measure up to "enough".
@pluckyCoconut4376
Not to sound rude but if there is nothing to fix you does the task then not fall on your own shoulders? Perhaps you think you're incapable or unworthy of the effort. I have felt this way for many years and for some reason, like you, I didn't give up. You're still here and I want to believe that, like myself, you think there is something worth holding on for.
Sometimes when we're fighting ourselves inside it can seem dismal but it's what we wrestle with in those dark places that provide insights through reflection and self discovery. All things happen for a reason - emotions, reactions, perceptions, projection. I have found that the most profound introspection happens in the darkness and through the discoveries of your own will light begins to form.
Your struggle is not one of a trivial nature. Your suffering is building the stronger version of you that's going to one day be at peace within yourself and perhaps share your story with others that are wounded.
I feel, that alone is something special enough to fight for even if you don't feel like you're worth it right now.
