sick of toxic people
Can I just meet some nice person who won’t spread negativity? Everytime I meet a “nice” person they have to say something that will disappoint me and I won’t even try to talk to them anymore but I feel like I got no choice and I have to interact with these toxic people everyday bc that’s what I got in university and people I know are toxic. Im so sick of it why I got to meet only bad people who are just mean and nasty 🤦🏻♀️
@anonyHuman933
What in your opinion makes them "toxic" ?
Simply because they do not agree with your thoughts/ beliefs and said something that ticked you off? do you think labeling them as toxic helps your perspective towards them?
do you expect all people you meet to be negative? we can find traits in others if we are looking for it.
Some people do see more negative from their perspective .......if you do not see it that way perhaps you could help them by showing them positive views about a similar situation....
avoiding others only limits your world ......there will always be people you disagree with in life learning to be civil and deal with others is a valuable life skill.
majority of them are literally homophobic, fatphobic and victim blaming SA victims, and in school my classmate were pretty much the same but also being a bully, I’ve never met a some nice person who won’t be any of these, I just don’t wanna talk to them anymore bc I guess I have no choice, I genuinely thought this one girl was nice but she said something fatphobic and it disappointed me as a fat person
@anonyHuman933
While i sympathize that some people who may seen nice and fine will unthinkingly say something mean or hurtful things they probably never had to face something like that themselves. ...there simply is not enough labels so why do we do that?
in the case of many things that are fear of things are called phobia/ phobic .... like arachnophobia the fear of spiders .... i do not see how calling a person who does not understand being overweight or gay etc. are phobic.... Maybe uneducated about a topic but does that make them afraid of it?
I will tell you in life people often change their minds by experiencing something close to them......... example maybe being more accepting if a family member is gay.... or a loved one or themselves gain weight and see for some it is not as easy to change....many factors in it. Learning often is more powerful if it is personal .....
Did you speak up to this girl and tell her you were upset by something she said and explain why? Did you just decide not to talk to her anymore and label her toxic?
Labels are NOT bridging a gap....... but instead make other become defensive and widening a rift.
@anonyHuman933 Im really sorry to hear you are having a very difficult time in education.
You can look at this in many ways:
Do you have a preference for validation or to be challenged in your thinking?
How do you see people in general and what are your expectations, motivations from them?
How do you feel about setting boundaries?
Really challenging question: Ask yourself if you also have toxic behaviours too?
If you would like to sit down and chat with a listener 1-1 7cups.com/BrowseListeners
If you would like to chat in group environment , I can strongly recommend sharing circle and exploration garden as one person at a time will chat.
Take care
I just expect them to not say something mean or even in general say something mean or nasty…i don’t think I have toxic behavior to others, I have social anxiety and I always try to avoid saying mean things. Sometimes I don’t they might say things that I at first thought they said it on purpose to hurt me but also they could also be clueless and not realizing it would sound rude but idk… many things they said is rude
@anonyHuman933 I think it comes to thinking people why could what they say be considered mean ? Is it discriminatory? is it their tone? Is it there word choice? If faced with the situation would you feel more comfortable telling a close friend why their behaviour was hurtful or a stranger. I know strange way to look at it do you feel people respect you based on how you respect yourself? - doesn't excuse any abuse at all. You mention having social anxiety which by the sounds of it seems like being very concerned around others evaluation of how you are perceived. If relevant you could look at how the family impact you , your internal monologue etc and reflect on what triggers you and how you ads a person stand up for yourself.