Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

I imagine its how space would feel if it were a person

I woke up really early feeling motivated and ready to work and be productive. I was productive for 2 hours feeling great about progress. Next thing I know I am exhausted, weak, absolutely no energy. I tried napping but was unsuccessful. Tried energy drinks and eating still nothing. My body feels so heavy with racing thoughts. I try a meditation and very relaxing bath or should have been but nope didn't help. I really need to get myself motivated. I want to but everything in me is saying lay down, stay in bed, nobody appreciates or values you anyway. Feel restricted like my body is weighed down and not wanting to let me out of bed or around others. Tired of trying to appear OK at work because I am in management and then home to bed not wanting to deal or be around anyone. Just tired of it all. 😔

WHERE DO I FIND THE ENERGY AND DRIVE I USED TO HAVE NO MATTER WHAT WAS HAPPENING. WHY IS THIS IMPACTING ME MORE THAN ALL THE PAST DRAMA!? 😨

I'm new here. Today I feel pretty lonely, worthless and unloved. I have been doing a lot of reading, listening and resurce to try to get better.

My back/hip/side hurts, I'm sad, I'm tired, I don't want to do anything but I need to and can't motivate myself to. I'm not important to anyonw. I hate myself so much... what a worthless piece of crap. Lowkey wishing I hadn't even woken up this morning.

I woke up tired and stressed.......for a while I cried a bit..then I started playing with watercolor paints so I feel more so ok.

I could say that I'm feeling pretty average right now, but there's a lot that's being unsaid.

Why am I alive? I have to make these decisions, and I don't know what to do with my life or how to make it worth it, and there's so little chance of success and I'm so alone and bored of it all and I don't even want to keep going...

I want to kill that evil person spreading chaos everywhere.

Idk, I am felling kinda empty and numb.. I hate this state, because it's hard to get out of it.. I wish I could just stop existing, and yet, I do want to get better, but for now I'm just too tired. Well anyway, I know that someday it'll be better, so I should work so I could reward myself when I'm over this

I surprisingly feel pretty good today

I hope everyone is having a good day :)