Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

I feel like I'm not here, and when I am, I'm not supposed to be... Each day is the same, yet each day is somehow worse

I'm so tired of being sad. I just want to be happy again. I'm tired of being happy or okay one minute and then something happens and I just spiral down and out... Things were starting to get better but now they're kinda fluctuating. I'm just so tired of not being happy. I'm tired of not being steadily happy.

We'll I'm still in bed but I feel my anxiety kicking in and haven't even started my weekend yet i wake up happy then around the afternoon it goes down hill I just want one whole day where I'm happy and not it going up down up down its like a rollercoaster that isn't fun at all just plain annoying and scary and I hate rollercoasters

I feel horrible, like I shouldn't be here anymore.

I feel hopeless. I know the theory behind getting better, but I don't deserve to do it.

I feel alone and as if nobody is there for me, like they don't care. All i hope for each day is happiness and i cant even get that.

I know I have reason's to be happy but I feel so numb inside. Most of the time I have to force myself just to smile....

Today, lonely and lost. Like pieces of me are being torn away.

I have things to be happy about in life but struggling to show or feel it... feel rubbish today. Just curled myself up in my bed majority of the morning. I thought i was getting better after being put back onto anti depression tabs, but the last couple of days i feel like im back to where i started... 🙁

Today feel like i could quite possibly kill myself wife theatening to leave me because im always tired and hardly talk. I just not happy