Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

@Laura

I am trying a new practice of mindfulness and positivity which I shall bring to my clients also. Everybody deserves to feel happy.

I actually had a great day until I got home. I scheduled time with my listener, and I couldn't help but think about not all day. I was actually excited. Now ive just been foolishly waiting for thier response like some 13 year old waits for her boyfriend. I feel so pathetic. I mean maybe I'm worth forgetting. I'm depressed beyond belief. I'm not going to send another message and look desperate. I don't know what to do. That's how my day went.

I feel like no matter how hard I try, I'm worthless to people. I'm afraid no one likes me and I'm not young enough to think that anymore. I'm tired of being talked down to by peers and saying nothing.

I feel hopeless

Today I am doing quite well 😊 I got out of my down mood, and I finally got my tattoo in memory of my cat that I've been wanting for months 😊

I feel like not wanting to do anything. With anyone.

I just want to be locked in a room by myself and not exist.

The anxiety arises,

Its really hard to live with my mom, shes a single parent whos neglecting me financially and emotionally. relationship never goes better, ended up with how she cant trust me at all as her daughter, and it makes me sad deep down there. I dont have anyone else in this world to share anything, I always wanted to have goodrelationship with her I tried so much for that...

She keep hurting me, verbally, physically, emotionally. Ive been patiently to face this alone. But tonight i feel like i cant tk this anymore

I'm not doing too well right now...I just got a bad evaluation at work and found out there were bad comments about me from guests...I am a singer and I take great pride in my ability to sing and perform. I feel like I have grown as a performer and gave a lot each show. I was sweaty after ever set and the dance floor was packed. Guests were asking for encores. So, I don't understand who these guest are who wrote bad comments and when they were in my lounge. But worse of all, I had this issue once before when I must admit I wasn't giving my best. This time, I have twice and much. And management went behind my back then to coperate then. They did it again this time and I was blindsided with a bad evaluation. I contacted coperate and they said I am still on probation...I don't know what's going on...I have never gotten bad comments before the last contract I had with this company and I am a way better singer and performer now than I was even 5 years ago. But the fact that management on the ship is two faced, telling me how much they love my performance but then emailing head office the instant I make one mistake without addressing the issue with me, and that the guy at corporate who has performed with me before isn't standing up for me or asking what's different, and the fact that they keep hiring instrumentalist who don't know the style of music we play but I always het blamed when they mess up is so hurtful...its like one bad thing after another recently or over the past two years I should say. I was betrayed by a man I really loved who I trusted with my life and then we got in a really bad argument and I said some mean things to him...I don't feel like I have anyone I can trust except my mom and even she doesn't know all of me...I'm so alone and now may be out of a job...its not fair that crappy people get to be happy and I keep getting the short end of every stick I pick up lately...I just want to sleep for days... :( 😢

Interesting

I don't feel great today, I have an app where I track my moods and I listed it as "awful" today. I've started new medication (2 weeks ago) and I know a side effect is that it might get worse before it gets better but my mood is painfully low. I have pretty bad anxiety and I struggle very much with intrusive thoughts mainly around harm towards myself, I don't feel as though I want to act on them but they are distressing to say the least and those have been particuarly bad.

I feel jumbled in my thoughts, I want to be alone but I'm desperately lonely, I feel like there's an ocean of emotional distance between me and my friends and husband, I don't feel like I can accurately explain how I feel because I know it doesn't make sense really.

Im trying to find new ways to relieve my stress and lift my mood, this app, meditation, I have a diary now etc but it feels worse each day.