One thing that is contributing to my depression is....

Anxiety and flawed thinking

Self hatred and loneliness

No one checks on me. It feels like friends and family have better things to do and don't care about me.

I feel that im not welcome anywhere or given strange looks

No longer having face to face interactions with my support group, or a chat and drink afterwards. It was the beginnings of me finally learning to deal with my social anxiety, and reach out to others, and now its gone, I feel heartbroken and lost.

my family.

the people around me not caring in the slightest

How fake everyone in my life is right now. Friend, therapist, professors. All fake. Even 7cups is fake with all the overly cheery people sometimes. Dropped therapist for a few weeks and might quit altogether. Dropped friend. Can't drop professors but I don't have to see them next semester so I don't care. Life is meaningless to me. Why should I stay? No one can give a reason that hasn't been peddled before in an attempt to relieve their own guilt if they didn't try to help. Everyone thinks the choice of death is a cry for help. What if it's just an understanding that time is up? It's ok for my time to be up. I have tried before but I have merely found ways that don't work thus I am still here. I am determined to keep trying. My pain is my own. I escaped death as an infant and the depression is my punishment, calling me back to my original fate, stronger as I get older because this is what is meant for me. I will finally feel relief right before i feel nothing forever.

DRINKING. :)

"Worring won't stop the bad stuff from happening

it just stops your from enjoing the good"