One word that describes my depression today is....

@JKCC

I feel you on that strongly friend. Reading what you're talking about almost perfectly describes my current dilemma as well. For me it really centers around work-life fulfillment. I feel no sense of achievement at my job nor is the pay worthy of the day-to-day stress. My life outside of work feels empty (largely due to my feelings on my job ironically) so there lies this feeling of living the same conflict every day. How does one get out of this nightmare is a question that I've been asking for years now. I feel as though I have no skills that'll get me into any job right now nor are the job options remotely interesting to me.

What I'm struggling with is the idea that I have no value in any environment. What I'm trying to counter all of this with is appreciating what I do have, but such thoughts can only realistically get you to a certain point until you realize you're not satisfied (not necessarily greedy but unfulfilled with life as a whole). This is a serious case and I'm trying my best to see this situation as a bright and exciting stepping stone to discovering my true calling in life. It's absolutely terrifying, but perhaps fear of finding that big step to make isn't as bad as sitting back and taking no steps at all. At least that's the logic that I'm going on now. I guess what I'm saying is replace the feeling of emptiness and hellish repitition of unsatisfactory with excitement and curiosity to finding your true path in life. Hope this makes sense and I hope this helps you to some extent moving forward.

@Serindia

Hope you found that spark of hope in your life Serindia. If not, please do not lose hope friend. What seems like a pretty bleak present may lead to a bright and beautiful future despite how things look on the surface. I'm currently going through a very similiar feeling.