@PaytonFaye2003 and @Avaray Corner
please let me know if you get this! its or own corner where we can talk!
Hey Payts xx I'm so tired I'm going to fall asleep on my couch xx
Sorry to sign off in the middle Of our questions but really need some 💤💤
We can carry on with them tomorrow ok xx
Sleep tight my little friend xx
STO
❤❤❤❤
Its 23:32 this side of the world xx
Sending loads of hugs.... Xx
Sorry couldn't wait until tomorrow.. I just had a moment of genius, especially for this time of night...
Here goes.. You know the code..
Well i thought of an easier way to remember it...
Instead of STO..
LETS MAKE IT S.T.O.P.
Stop.. Think... Override... Payton!
Much easier to remember!
And now I'm in bed and this oldie will be in dreamland in a few moments...
Try get some sleep tonight... You must be exhausted xx
@Avaray
Leaving today after Lunch. Just wanted to let you know!
Hey Payts so glad to hear that! It's going to be ok. Much better to have a flesh and blood Person that can hug you and talk to you, you will start to bond with her xx
Just remember S.T.O.P xx and no more running now... You can stop now you have someone there who will protect you and guide you and wants you, chosen you.
You can do this... All the best on your new start my little friend. Awesome, compassionate, dear Payton. I think i will always remember you and I know you will be a success at whatever you do because that inner strength is there ❤
I'm not trying to hurt you Payton, I promise you that, i did say i would let you know when i wouldn't be here so i havent just disappeared on youxx ...stop... But im going to send you a huge hug and say a goodbye...my reason, not anything you said, did, or that i dont like you, because i really do.... Stop... And that's why i need to do this as You need to bond with the person that you are staying with and if i keep writing xx your bond is not going to develop like it needs to...and you will be comparing what i say with what she says... And i want the best for you, because you deserve the best and a safe place to belong.... I know that this probably hurts very much, but you'll understand what im saying is true as time goes by...and then i hope you won't be so angry at me and realised I actually cared enough...thats why... And not for any other reason that i know is going through your head right now, please try override those thoughts Payts..
Please don't be angry at her, she only wants to love you Payts... Bye dear Payts.. You are awesome! ❤❤!
@Avaray
NO UR NOT SAYING GOOD BYE. IM NIT GOING TO LET THAT HAPPEN... IM SO MAD RIGHT NOW... SEE EVERYBODY LEAVES... THIS IS WHY I DONT LIKE GETTING CLOSE TO PEOPLE...
@Avaray
@Avaray
I thought you were my friend! 
And i cant believe ur leaving just like that... I thought you were different, BUT UR JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE!
Why does people seem to leave when i need them the most... It aint Fair and I never have a Say in anything!!!!!!!!!
Payton.... You wont believe me... But i do care.. And i know you are angry at me and hurt...and i am sorry, if you really knew me, you would know how hard it was to type that....im not the type of person who would normally do this, but it's because I do care... And I know you are probably thinking every bad thing about me that you possible can...I get that...and it's ok, I'll still care, because I know it is what is best for you in the long term
You're wrong on this one Payton... And I am sorry ❤ xx
@Avaray
yOU CANT LEAVE ME... I NEED YOU! OUT OF EVERYBODY ON HERE UR TALKING TOO, IM PROLLY THE ONE WHO NEEDS YOU THE MOST AND UR JUST GOING TO LEAVE... DONT ACT LIKE U KNOW WHATS BEST, CAUSE U DONT!!!!
I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS! I HATE MY LIFE!
WILL I EVER BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR SOMEONE TO STAY?
@Avaray
i just wanna die... im freaking out and crying my eyes out and u dont even care... I WILL LEAVE YOU ALONE... you got ur wish!!!! BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
@Avaray
I'm sorry! I wish you would stay... Everybody acts like they know whats best for me and it makes me so angry... Between all the people in and out of my life, and the fact that everybody leaves. You think you'd wanna stay and be there for me.. you think ur helping me well your not. Its only making things worse for me... I needed you today and u threw me away just like my mother did... All I want is someone who will be there when I need them the most... It would of been better if you stayed... Someone I can talk to when things gets though... we didnt even finsih our 20 questions... I really thought you were diff! I thought u really cared and I never pictured you the one to leave! More bad came out of this than good!
JUST WHY??
@Paytonfaye2003
Payts..you don't think i had tears rolling down my face...what i did today wasn't to hurt you even though I knew you would be...
@Paytonfaye2003
.... Im afraid that you are going to want to bond more to me then to the person you are now living with... And then you are going to miss out on so much because you are opening up to me and not her and that is how relationships are built... You have known her longer then me Payts, I won't always be around all the time, i have stuff, heavy stuff that I have to work through...i almost quit cups of tea after i typed that today....But she will be there for you...I need to know that you are safe and bonding more with her...x
You do matter Payts.. I need to know you are going to have someone with you that you have connected properly too, it's not that i dont like you...
Whats your favorite flower
@Avaray
i can bond with you both... ur still my friend, and i dont care... today ive been emotional mess... i just have my gard up with her.. as much as i have to learn her trust she has to earn mine. Not everyday is going to be easy. But i will try...But i still need you... please will u stay? And my fav flower is a lilly
@Paytonfaye2003
Payton...i hear you... But I also need to know that you have heard me ....x
I'm your friend Payts and I'll talk with you, as i said It's not because i don't like you...
Im not always going to be available to chat when you need me too or straight away or sometimesveven the same day xx because i also have to try make it through stuff that I work through, im not an expert at this and im sorry for not been more sensitive and saying it right, but i am trying to help you even in my clumsy way.
I understand you need to work the trust thing with her, that's hard ....but important,
I won't always be on 7 cups.... So i need to know that if i for my personal reasons need to stop being on this7 cups site that you will have someone there with you that I know you are safe and happy with and wont feel abandoned like you did today...that is most nb for me. Promise me that you'll try talk more with her then with me Payts and that you understand what i said above...
My heart is not to hurt you...never was..
When the time comes when i need for whatever reason to leave cups of tea or take a break from it, i will tell you before I do if humanly possible.... I want you to make your home there..
Mine is a rose x
@Avaray im sorry i hurt you
@Paytonfaye2003 also i have made a friend on 7 cups that I would also like you too talk with..its kite..kite understands alot and is very compassionate, knows about things and has become a very close buddy for me... So those days when I'm not around you can chat with her, she can make you laugh and also be firm when even i need it, but it's the closest ive got to someone my age in i dont know..like forever... So if thats ok? You will really grow to like kite..so if kite can join in then when i mess up kite can hopefully help us both out... I would like that...also kite is in another timezone to me 6 or 7 hours ahead of me which makes it around 10 or 11 hours ahead of you.... How was the move today...
Anyway Payts, it's very late this side and I need to get some sleep x I hope you have a good sleep tonight in your very own bed.....today was very emotional i know..❤
@Avaray
I understand what ur saying. And i want to be here for you if you let me. Your my friend and i really care about you... i dont mind talking to kite. Thats if she wants to talk to me as well. Today was an emotional day and it was okay... been kinda by myself taking all this in.. but heres a big hug. Can we pls talk tomorrow? And im not going to talk to kite unless she starts writing me first! Dont be sad! And thanks for not leaving me!
@Paytonfaye2003 im glad that makes me feel alot better knowing that you will have someone there and you are going to try make it work and be home.... That is very important for me to know.. i hope you start to feel better...it is a big day.... A new chapter for you... A good chapter....And I'm sorry I hurt you...
Hugs back to you too you too Payts x
S.T.O.P. ❤
I'm going to sleep now xx its gone 1 in the morning. Xx I'll send you a message sometime tomorrow .. X
Hey,I am Inshira and I suffer from scoliosis and depression,I really do need someone to talk to but I don't want to be a burden to everyone @Paytonfaye2003
@Inshira
this Forum is for me and someone else. if u need to talk to someone you shoul post in ur feeds... best of luck
Hi, @Inshira, it's nice to meet you! You're not being a burden by wanting to talk to someone - 7 Cups is all about reaching out and supporting one another, so don't feel guilty, lovely. We all need a kind, supportive presence in our lives.
I encourage you to connect with a listener and chat for a while - you can choose someone in here. There is also a whole sub-community only for teens - check it out here. Feel free to start your own thread in the forums or to reply to others.
Glad that you decided to join us! If you have any questions, feel free to ask me - for example you can tag me by posting "@Celaeno" in the forums or in the feed. I'd love to help you out. Best wishes!
Wow Payts...thankyou..that was very special thank you.
I'm so glad you felt hapiness.... Very hard to find sometimes.. I think you have found a wonderful person there like kite says....
I know she must love you, hard to accept xxx
Its like a whole new language you are learning, almost like you have moved to a new country.... Yes it's unknown territory, the language is different.. Happiness... Laughing... Love.... I'm important...rules...and just like learning a new language it takes time and it at times will feel like you'll never get how to learn it...get fustrated...Want to go back to what you knew because that was all you knew, and knew how to be...
This "new country" .. The more you learn the "new language" and. Realise there is someone who speaks this language reasonably well, although sometimes she might also forget some of it, that happens..you know that xx one day you'll suddenly realise, hey this "country" is a safe country to live, let me unpack the rest of my things and throw those suitcases away..This is home.
I hope you get what i was talking about..the language and new country stuff... Av was on a roll with the imagery...but seriously Payts.. You have a good thing going ...a good person trying to do her best and as kite said probably also scared of making mistakes, so when she does gives u rules u can realise she knows you are not going to like it and maybe then not like her because of it, yet that's how much she does care...doing the hard stuff to make sure she knows you are going to be safe even at the risk of knowing that you are going to be mad at her... Thats called caring, love...new words Payts..
Think back to a week ago...think where you are now.. At that time you didn't know how you where even going to do this.... And now you are here doing it, and have had a good moment with someone who cares about Payton, there's one of those new words again.. You guys are going to fight and are going to want to run... Don't ok, that's part of normal... And doesn't mean that she doesnt want you...or that you don't belong.. All that stuff will go through your head...
Then that strength that I know is inside of you is going to have to stand up and tell yourself NO. Remember our overide code. Even repeat it untill the need to run is not strong anymore....then go talk to her Payts...
She's human also, gets scared, gets hurt, messes up, gets sad, and probably cuts her legs also when she shaves her legs 😝😝
You get what we're saying Payts... And proud of u for giving her and your new life a chance. Unpack those suitcases bit by bit as you feel you can....
Sorry oldie was on a roll so that was a looooong one...look how far you have come...wow💕💕
@Avaray
Hi
@Avaray @agreeablekite4304
Where are u guys today? I need to talk to you guys... Yesterday was such and amazing day for me, But I woke up this morning, and Im pretty depressed. How can today feel so crappy but yesterday so great? I am not a morning person and when i wake up Im normally cranky uptil I am awake... But the feeling didnt go away! You think after the day i had yesterday that today I would wake up feeling great! But I dont! Whats wrong with me?
@Paytonfaye2003 hey there Payts, been doing life this side and spacing out trying to get rid of this head cold, it doesn't seem to want to go away easily xx
The happy feeling and then the dip... Kite probably has the right words... I just also know the feeling xx
Your body has been running on alot of adrenalin such an emotional time, it's like you sink down abit... I think when kite wakes up and sees your tag its probably 2:30 in the morning that side xx
You sort have got to try just doing normal untill the feeling gets a tad less or chat to your new "mom" sorry if i said that wrong im not quite sure how to call her xx
Remember lots of stuff still inside that you are going to still have to work through.... Maybe the happiness feeling sortof made you abit sad in away also without realising it...sort of your bodies way of working through the hard stuff that's still inside...grieving for what you didn't have before after experiencing a little bit of it now maybe? 💕
To feel things you cant block out the bad because you block out the good ones too..so maybe having some good feelings those sad places inside are also surfacing abit..
Im not sure on all that but thats the way i would maybe see it...x
Your councillor mom would know the answers to that one Payts x i think once you get past the fear of taking to her she might be able to help you more then you realise..she has the experience of being a councillor ( big plus!) and also cares very deeply for you (major plus plus x)..yip those new words.. You going to get tired of be telling you about new words and languages..xx
The depression stuff is inside Payts.. The happy times are good, but those other horrible down days are going to be there also...you didn't have a fair start Payts...it's going to take time for you to work through those things...but im glad yesturday was a good one...
I also think your body is exhausted, not getting enough sleep messes with you too. I kbow it's hard to get sleep when your brain just won't stop running and rerunning over everything..but that will also help...
I hope that made some sense....if it didnt ill blame it in the cold i have xx
You're awesome kiddo..(i stole the kiddo part from kite...she called me that the other day too)
Yes im going to say it....new word...new word💕
Hope u start to feel better....xx
