A Journal of my Journey: 12-18-20 (2 good days in a row!)

Sometimes when you feel good, you tend to forget how bad the episodes can be. That’s when I have to really remember to enjoy the now and to stick to the routine that works. Weekends are usually the worst for me and when my worst anxiety/depression episodes kick in. So much planned yet I get overwhelmed by even the smallest thing and then go hide under the covers.

Here’s hoping not this weekend!

Perhaps it’s not having the structure and distraction of being at work or perhaps it’s the free time to think that triggers me. I’m not sure. One thing I have been doing lately is avoiding thinking about things that I KNOW can set me off. Sort of a mental “LALALALA - I can’t hear you!” I sing out-loud, I talk to myself, I recite the ABCs….anything to distract my mind from the “scary” overthinking.

I know it’s not super healthy to avoid those things, but it allows me to function. And being able to function means that some of the issues will get solved.

Maybe in my next entry I will cover some of my triggers and issues that bring on my depressive episodes. Maybe if I have a good Saturday.

So today is cleaning, relaxing (a bit), and then a mini-adventure this evening of grocery shopping.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Sparky