Antidepressants and anti-psychotic medication ruined my life..:(

so i was put on this drug called risperidone, and it ruined certain things in my life...certain things i used to enjoy i couldnt do no more, and i think its a sedative ,so it screwed up my sex life as well, and certain things i could enjoy i cant do them , i cant feel pleasure from them because of this drug, i searched online forums, a lot of people felt the same about this drug and they also couldnt enjoy this particular activity that i also couldnt enjoy, and this activity is very special to me, and now im gonna taper off this drug, but moreover i feel so anxious that if there was no thing called the internet i wouldnt have known about this drug and its side effects, so i keep thinking what if there was no such thing as the internet , i would still be on this drug, and it would ruin so many moments of my life, im just a mess in my head right now, and rigbt now i hate the doctor who prescribed me this drug, and also my mother, she is the one who gave me these drugs, without my knowledge, she would put the drugs in the coffee and give, so im so angry at them all, and the other thing now that i want to come off this drug, its not that easy to do so,you have to gradually reduce the dosage otherwise i experience withdrawal symptoms, so im a mess right now thinking all this, so anyone out there please make me feel better about all this...i also would like to know if there are others out there who have similar experiecnes and also would like to know if there are worse things that could happen to a person than what happened to me, i feel like this is the worst thing ever..