@MangoPancake
Totally relate to this, my birthday is coming up too. Luckily I haven't really celebrated it since I was 11 or 12 or so. So I can just pretend it's another day.
It sucks that your family doesn't seem to get how you feel about it
I'm the same way. I'm really dreading Christmas because I don't have the effort to fake being happy anymore so if anyone gets me anything I'll probably end up hurting their feelings by not caring if the present was a billion dollars or a cyanide pill. Then I'll hate myself more for being an awful person who hurts people I love. I don't have an issue with getting older itself but more feeling like a total failure who has accomplished absolutely nothing by my current age with no future to make up for it.
