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MangoPancake
778 M Little Steps
PathStep 10 Compassion hearts30 Forum posts30 Forum upvotes32 Current upvotes32 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2019 Member sinceJune 13, 2019
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Birthday Depression
Depression Support / by MangoPancake
Last post
 November 10th, 2019
...See more So I
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Scared
Depression Support / by MangoPancake
Last post
 October 15th, 2019
...See more Im crying as Im typing this right now. Im six months into depression recovery and every time I take one step forward, I keep going two steps back. Ive been struggling with sleep for awhile and after months of treatment, my Doctors finally found the right dose of medication for me and my sleep has improved so much. Problem is, the medication is making me gain weight and I was previously diagnosed with eating disorder (and OCD too). I dont want to gain weight and Im so scared of it. My doctor has told me that our focus is on getting better entirely and not suffering in other aspects just to make my depression better. I constantly feel like an idiot for going back and forth with treatment because everyones been trying so hard and hoping that Id get better. I dont want to disappoint them. Why am I so messed up..?
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Children
Depression Support / by MangoPancake
Last post
 September 29th, 2019
...See more Just a curious question, knowing that you have a mental health condition, would you still choose to have children? I don
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Can
Depression Support / by MangoPancake
Last post
 September 25th, 2019
...See more Hey everyone, have you ever hit the point that you arent suicidal yet youre completely, utterly done with life? I dont know what to do right now because my prozac and xanax and sleeping pills arent working despite increasing the dosage (under supervision), and theyll be changing my meds again but Im honestly so done that I dont really care about what theyll give to me next. I was also diagnosed with OCD and Eating Disorder and well, depression was just the icing on top of the awful cake. Ive been through recovery twice but I dont think I can do it this time. Im tired and drained and I am done. I just cant bother to plan ahead or have dreams anymore. And Im actually so sick of people telling me that I have so much to look forward to/ be grateful for because I KNOW. I just cant deal with life, its all too much and Im too exhausted. Im sorry, Im just ranting on but well, Id love to hear about your stories and progress too, maybe get some inspiration from them, or just to talk this through. Thanks.
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Being kind to yourself
Depression Support / by MangoPancake
Last post
 September 22nd, 2019
...See more How do you be kind to yourself when you
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All alone
Depression Support / by MangoPancake
Last post
 September 10th, 2019
...See more So Ive been having a rough time these few days and Im desperately trying everything I can to seek help. The clinics Ive been going to basically told me that the doctors suspect that prozac isnt working for me and I have to wait days till I get an outpatient appointment to see a psychiatrist at a hospital to change my medication. But the appointment slots are all full till 2 weeks later and Im already feeling like Im going insane. Ive also tried reaching out to counselling centres but theyve all told me that there is nothing they can do for me at the moment and Ill have to wait 3 working days for the case manager to call me. Everyone keeps referring me to our 24hr suicide hotline and Ive already called them, but it isnt working. I need something to cope and I cant do this. Ive never been this mentally distressed in my life and I just want something, anything, to work.
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Hard days
Depression Support / by MangoPancake
Last post
 September 9th, 2019
...See more So today, I woke up horribly depressed and insanely weak. I havent felt like this in awhile and somehow, even 50mg of prozac isnt working now. Its hard to explain depression, because I never really know why or when itll hit me. But Im so sick of that annoying sinking feeling, giving in and just curling up like all my problems will go away if I just stay under the covers. Sometimes, its hard to tell if depression is ruining my life or Im doing all of it on my own. I dont think people understand how much I would give just to feel okay again. Waking up with depression is like opening your eyes and realising youre in hell and feeling like youd rather you didnt wake up at all. When I wake up with depression, I just want to curl up and cry and find a space where I can feel safe. But I know I cant, because as long as Im me, Im already in danger. I just want whatever Im feeling to go away. With depressed mornings, I cant even find the strength to tell myself that Im okay and I can start the day right. Its too much, too overbearing to even coax myself out of bed. So I just lie there and let time waste away.
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