Can�t feel emotion suicidal thought everyday need advice?
I'm youngish about 25 and this post is going to be pretty badly written as I don't want to take too much time or my girlfriend might get suspicious she's already noticing a change in my behavior. I'm not happy. Not because of her but I can't feel happiness I feel like I can't remember the last time I was actually happy as my whole life I've felt numb. Everyday since I was a kid I ponder suicide nearly everyday or at least I can't remember a day without it in my mind with only a few attempts in my lifetime. I know I want to live because I've never been able to do actually end my life but what's wrong with me? I don't feel any emotion except anger and sadness and what I can only describe as hollow. Is this normal? I have always felt like this so I can't tell if it isn't. What do I do? I know everyone has said therapy but I can't even bring myself to call suicide hotline I call let the robot talk to me and then I wimp out and hang up.. I don't know if I'm depressed. I don't know if I'm okay but I just don't know anything really. I'm not sure if anyone feels this but it just feels better to write this.
@firedupcashew No, it is not normal.
What you have written here definitely doesn't make it sound like you are okay.
There is help available, though. There are professionals who know what to do, and who can help you to turn things around. I understand that it's difficult to take that step.
If it feels better to write here, then you can write more here. A lot of people write about themselves here in the forum, because they find that it helps them to feel better.
You can also chat to any of our listeners here at 7 Cups. If you'd like to chat to me, you are very welcome to click on my profile picture and message me.
Charlie
@firedupcashew I just want you to know you're not alone. I have a hard time feeling down even if nothing is wrong. It's also difficult to go ask for help. I think it's hard to need to rely on someone ecspecially if you didn't have to worry about that before. Suicidal thoughts are hard to deal with, but I think you should try to think of something that might be a cause of the thoughts and see if you can do anything about it. An example could be, maybe you have a overloaded schedule, so try to add in some more down time in your day where you can relax. But I do think you should try to talk to someone. It can be very uncomfortable, but it does help to get some feelings out. I'm sorry you're going through this, it seems tough. I hope I helped in anyway I could. Make sure to love yourself though, that is so important, just love yourself and accept you for you. :)