Coping With New Year's Eve

A few of my friends had shared an interesting video on Facebook about the pressures people (especially teenagers) face during New Year's, and it got me thinking about the importance of taking care of ourselves at this time of the year, so I wanted to create a space to share our worries and tips about December 31st.

Speaking on a personal level, I know that I need to be extremely aware of my mental health at this period, so let's come together! ❤

Why is New Year's Eve so hard for so many people?

There's a general agreement that it's a night that should be one of the best of your life, where you go out and party and generally cut loose. If you suffer from social anxiety, you haven't received an invite to a party, you struggle with mobility or low self confidence, it can heighten feelings of low mood and sadness. In addition, social media heightens this compulsion by giving people an opportunity to share their plans, giving us the impression that everyone else's NYE will be/ was better than ours.

The end of the year also gives us a chance to reflect on what we've done this year, but it can also be overwhelming to think of all the things that we've done and haven't done. Subliminally, we feel that how we start our New Year will shape what's to come, whereas in reality, the rest of the year has almost no bearing on what we did on one night! I find that it tends to make me think of where I was this time last year, and think of all the mistakes I've made, rather than celebrating my successes.The start of a new calendar can also induce anxiety subliminally, as we feel that we are stepping into the unknown and the pressure of making resolutions makes us feel as if we need to make massive life changes.

The tradition of having a New Year's Kiss can be very disheartening without someone to share that kiss with, especially if you're celebrating with couples.

It's also the end of the festive period, so if you do enjoy Christmas and New Year's, it's disheartening to be going back to work/school after such a great time!

What can I do to enjoy New Year's Eve while looking after my mental health?

⓵ Be honest with yourself about what you want

Ask yourself what you truly want from New Year's - if you feel isolated and alone, being in a crowd can be just as disheartening as being by yourself. Do what you want to, what makes you feel happiest, and don't bend to the pressure of spending it in a certain way if you know that it will only make you feel worse.

⓶ Be honest with your friends and family about how you feel

If you're scared of being alone, reach out to people you love to ask if you can spend it with them. Alternatively, letting people know that you don't want to spend it with them can be hard to say, so if you feel that you'd be happiest in bed by 10PM, that's okay too!

⓷ Plan ahead

It's getting a bit late now to have made more elaborate plans, but reaching out to people to make plans well ahead of the evening will make you feel a lot more secure, and stop you worrying about what you're going to do. If you're looking to avoid it completely, finding opportunities to volunteer or otherwise distract yourself are allso best made ahead of time. If you suddenly decided at 3PM on New Year's Eve that you'd actually like to go out, it makes it a lot harder to make plans.

⓸ Make healthy choices

Making sure you eat a good healthy meal before you drink, limiting alcohol intake, making sure you have somewhere safe to stay or a safe way to get home are all really important if you're going out. If you're staying in, it can also be tempting to eat unhealthy foods and drink, and stay awake past midnight without wanting to be awake, but you can minimise this by eating well and taking time to exercise during the day, so that you tire yourself out.

⓹ Be gentle with yourself if making resolutions

It's all too easy to decide that you're going to take up eighteen new hobbies, lose a stone, learn a new language and start jogging, but a lot harder to stick to! With resolutions, there comes a massive sense of failure if we're unable to keep to them, but you can minimise this by making a small number of resolutions that you can actually keep to, with steps to achieve them and a specific target in mind. For example:

✎ I will learn French ⇨ I will sign myself up to a language class, which I will attend once a week, and I will learn fifteen new words a week. By April, I hope to be able to read a simple story in French.

✎ I will lose weight ⇨ I will try to go swimming once a week and walk to work twice a week. I will try not to buy as many unhealthy snacks when I go shopping, and instead buy fruit, but let myself have one treat still. I will stop buying fizzy drinks, and instead drink water or juice with my meals, and only have Coke on special occasions. By March, I hope to have lost XXlbs.

Above all, remember that if you don't achieve or stick to a resolution, it doesn't mean you have failed! Every day is a chance to become the person you want to be, every day is a new beginning, not just January 1st.

⓺ Avoid social media

If you feel downcast that you aren't spending it partying, or feel that others are having a better time than you, looking at pictures on social media won't make that feeling any easier to bear. Vowing to stay off Facebook/ Twitter etc. for the 48 hours either side of New Year's Eve can be very rewarding!

⓻ If you have a history of self injury, addiction or suicidal ideation, take extra steps to prevent triggers

Whatever you need to keep safe, do it. If you worry that you might be tempted to self harm, try to be with someone who can stay with you and hide what you use to hurt yourself if that's not possible. Make up a box of self care strategies, like compliments, hotlines, scented candles etc., or distract yourself with a film or craft project.

⓼ Focus on the good things

Write a list of all the things you've achieved in that you're proud of. If you need some reminders, look back in your diary or news feed. It might be nice to write them on small bits of paper and put them into a jar, to keep as a memento and something to add to for when you need some support next year.

💡 Questions 💡

✶ What word do you most associate with New Year's Eve?

✶ What is your best New Year's Eve memory?

✶ What's your number one tip for having a good time at New Year's?

✶ How do you intend to spend this New Year's Eve?

✶ Why do or don't you make resolutions?

✶ What are you proud of for achieving this year?

📖 Reading and Resources 📖

New Year's Eve: A Survival Guide - Guardian

13 Reasons Why New Years Eve Is Actually One Huge Disappointment Waiting to Happen - Bustle

10 tips to make your New Year's resolution a success - NHS

Top tips for coping with New Years - SayNoToStigma

Please do share your thoughts and experiences below, and let's come together!