Depressed and disconnected from everyone
I dont know really where to start. I've gone through sever tramatic experiences when I was younger. I spent my whole life wanting to get out of the neighborhood that had caused me so much pain. I had succeeded, until 2 days before my 20th birthday, my dad passed away suddenlymy life got turned upside down. I dropped everything to come home and take care of my mom and younger brother, since neither had a job, nor could drive. Its been 2 1/2 years now, and Im still here, same situation taking care of everyone else, with no help. I work 2 full times jobs, I dont get much sleep, im constently stressed and depressed and feel like its never going to change. That I'll always be stuck living at home, taking care of others, while all I can think of is every bad memory I've ever experiancedhere. I feel disconeccted from my family, my fiance, my friends, everyone around me. I try and out on a fake smile so no one knows, but every day its gets harder and harder to do so, and i feel like I'm at my breaking point, and I justdont know what to do.
It's understandable that you are going through this, you've taken on more than one person can handle in a normal mind set let alone a person suffering from depression. It just goes to show how strong of a person you are. Have you asked your fiance to help you with things? If you ever want to talk, you can message me anytime. It's crazy how much we can help others but when it comes to our own issues it's alot harder. Hang in there and there are alot of good listeners On this site that can show you support. Take it one step at a time.
I have talked to him, and he does help a bit, but he got in a head on collision with a dump truck 9 months ago, and is still in a lot of pain from that, so he has a hard time doing a lot of things around the house. And because of that, it just adds more to my already very full plate. Thank you for offering to talk. I dont really have a lot of people I can talk to about stuff. And I'm also shy, and its harder for me to talk to someone about the problems I'm having, versus online.
goodness gracious, you're suffering from so many different stresses and traumas right now! it makes sense that you'd be anxious, and i can't imagine how difficult it must be to be going through all of this while suffering from depression.
i'm glad that you have a fiancee to support you, although it must be frustrating sometimes helping him with his injuries. after all, you do need time to take care of yourself as well.
if you'd ever like to talk, my inbox is always open. you don't have to go through this alone, and i wish you all the best.
