Don't want to die but want to stop existing.
Am I the only one who feels this way? I don't want to die; I'm scared of death. And I don't want people to be affected by it. But I want to stop existing at least for some time - for that time it is as if I was never born.I wish there was a switch I can control any time. At the same time, I want to still 'live'. I want to see the world as a ghost or some sort. Weird, huh?
Yes I get this so much like I don't want to die because I don't want to hurt anyone by leaving. And I also would want to live sometimes but sometimes life and thinking in my mind is just so tiring. I'm also afraid that after I die what happens after won't be better or I'm just going to keep reincarnating for forever which sounds awful and tiring.
I wish if that can really happen for a 6 months maybe
I feel like that a lot. I just want to be away for a while.
i think a lot of people feel this way... they wish they could hibernate or start over again or something. I sure have. But what are we gonna do? We don't seem to have that option, as much as we could use it. Darn it.
I get like that a lot. One time I skipped work and drove until I hit Portland Oregon and it felt incredibly releaving. (I'm from Tacoma Washington)
wow i just googled that it's2 h 12 minwithout traffic!!
I enjoyed it. I got gas then drove to Olympia and bought a new guitar. That was last summer when I had a job and no bills to pay though so I was able to do things like that lol
I don't wanna spam this story but I just want some help, thought it's appropriate for many forums.
Man, I'm so sick and tired of being me. My friends beat me up like a piece of trash, as a joke. I can usually take it and smile back, but this time I warned them of my depression and suicidal thoughts. And I still get beaten up as a rib, given a limp on leg and headache. All that pain and trauma from the heartbreak of not helping me, gave me suicidal thoughts. I have sleep paralysis problems and headaches are my kryptonite. I couldn't sleep for two days after the beatdown. Couldn't find postures because of injured leg and a kick to the groin. What sort of joke is kicking somebody in the privates. Not only that, I thought they would take my mental health seriously. That's an emotional heartbreak for me. I'm not insane enough to suicide, I never was. But I can't help but get overwhelmed by uncontrollable suicidal thoughts. They nearly make me cry and feel like getting killed. Not killing myself, but somebody else doing it. And my friends basically pushed me into the miserable asylum of insane thoughts. Am I really that worthless that people will do things that bring my suicidal side on? I think I might be mistaken, but maybe, just maybe I'm human and have some feelings that get hurt at some point. I can't even sleep properly. I'm afraid of sleeping because of sleep paralysis. I get migraines where I cry for hours because I hate meds and they don't work anyways. I try to do all this with a hectic schedule. I just wanted some appreciation and stuff, but I get misery. Depression even has decreased my intelligence, logical and reasoning skills. I feel so dumb and pathetic that my expectations dictate that I should be dead.
I get this way too. I'm extremely sensitive now to being picked on by friends and if I don't laugh along at something that I'm sensitive to, then I get called an old grouch and no one wants to be around me. It's like they blow off my feelings or say I'm just complaining. Ugh. It is so frustrating.
Hey Penny, thanks for sharing that with us. It's really hard to be with friends and be bullied by them.
I can relate a bit, in that I had a best friend who reduced me to feeling like nothing in her presence. It took a lot of years but I slowly became more of an accessory/tool for her, rather than being a friend. It took someone else to snap me out of it, so to speak, and stand up to her. It's been a very tough road but it's been about seven years and I haven't looked back.
I left that group of friends and came to some new ones. You can always make new friends, don't let this group of them tell you what you are worth. You're very strong for posting this and expressing how you feel. It's the first step in regaining who you are and taking control of your surroundings.
@friendlyPenny4303 i know this was a long time ago now but i really hope you cam out of that somehow. I really really hope you did. Im so sorry for what you had or have to go through. I wish I couldve spoken to you. You might not even be on here anymore. Im just so sorry that you had to go through that. I will pray for you.
I wish I could give you some advice - but I just wanted to say that that is exactly how I feel. All the time. It's constant.
I understand what youre saying. I feel like this all the time but I fear saying anything because I dontwant people to freak out and think I'm actually going to do it. It's just a feeling; I get that it should be an alert for people but I hate when I'm reacted to it that way when I say it. A break from life is all I need. I wish I could stop time and then start it back up when I feel ready again.
I have this same issue. I hate suicide but I cant help but wonder what it feels like to not be suffering any more, a hibernation where when I wake up things start fresh and get better. I feel like bad things keep happening to me and I never get a break. I'm so tired, you know?
