Dumping grounds for everyone - How do you feel?
I started this thread because I couldn't find any that were just for general discussion for everyone. So I made my own. Here you are free to discuss your feelings, problems, and everything also, and maybe get some ideas/counseling from other members. I guess I'll go first.
*Deep breath*
I'm in sort of a tough position. I'm getting to that age where you have to start making decisions about your life, and I have nothing to go by. No interests, no ideas, no big passions. The only skills I had before are gone now and I haven't gained any new ones to replace them. My family doesn't really believe me about these things. I'm sort of the hidden black sheep. I'm atheist, asexual, wimpy, and don't question things much, while they're all straight, Christian, brave people who think I'm another one of them, just in denial.
So there's my story. Where's yours?
I'm a miserable lonely crippled failure with no reason to live and no chance of ever improving my life because I have no social life, I can't work or drive and I'm trapped in a shithole farm town with absolutely nothing to do and no way to meet anybody. I want somebody to love and accept me but because of my condition and circumstances it's impossible and I have no reason to even try to fix things because I can't. I'm a prisoner in my own body and I wish I was literally any other human being on the planet because then I'd at least have some value. I'm worthless and there's nothing I can do about it except win the lottery or become a cyborg, or suicide. I can't stand living and being in pain every second of every day.
@tluper6491 I'm sorry for you. Whereabouts are you? Maybe someone from 7 Cups could meet you and help you. I understand what it's like being trapped, but I probably can't properly relate to your level of pain. I support you, and others here probably do too.
@AlphaPheonix4720
I really need somebody who truly cares about me but due to my circumstances that's pretty much impossible.
@tluper649
Trust me, there will be someone out there who will love and accept you for who you are. Love all of you regardless. My partner is severly disabled [spinal injury] and has very limited mobility as well as loads of other health problems. We have been together for 20 years and he was disabled when i met him. Yes, at times he drives me nuts and no doubt i drive him crazy too, but underneath it all is love. EVERYONE deserves love and is lovable. Without being cliched you just haven't met the right person yet, I truly believe that there is someone out there for you. Take care
@tluper6491 You are not worthless. The fact that you feel these things and don't want to be the way you are mean you have some value, because you're able to think. And that's a lot
@AlphaPheonix4720
I'd rather not think. My situation can't be changed and every second of my life is misery.
@tluper6491 I know sometimes it seems like our situation can't be changed, but I promise you, even what seems like the direst situation CAN be made into something else. It can be crippling to feel like you are completely alone, but you are here, and that in itself is something. It may not seem like it, but it really is a step in the right direction.
Words can only seem like just words, but they can be powerful things. To feel like you are listened to, that you are understood, can mean the world when everything looks so dark.
@AlphaPheonix4720 I feel gloomy, depressed and sad. I try to make things right in my life but one of my family member adds fuel to my depression. It sucks really. Sometimes I felt like running away and leaving my family. But I know that I can't and they need me as well as I need them. It's a struggle. I just bury myself with my job. To keep my mind of my worries and anxieties.
@Jewelmoon17 I'm not really the best person to try and help you, but what I did when I was in a similar situation was that I developed an idol. A person who I thought was perfect. I already had a friend like that and just had to idolise them, but you may need to dig deep to find someone. Whenever you do something, think "How would they do this?" "What would they do?". Doing this and trying to do what they "would have done" can make you feel better. It worked for me.
@AlphaPheonix4720 It's alright. I appreciate you giving me this advice. Your right about that. I think having an idol could really help a lot. I do have one. He's a celebrity. I read that he had depression twice in his life. Though of course, he didn't want to be openly public about his personal life. But we both had been in a situation where our best friend left us. Aside from that. I think I still need an idol who is a normal civilian. I would try to find one. At least people like that will be more open about their struggles. Thanks for the reply. :)
@Jewelmoon17 I'm glad to think that this might have helped you.
Ive been feeling like Ive been drowning. Ive just gotten to the point where Im in the clear and now all I need to do is keep it up, but I feel like I cant. Im trying. But it keeps getting harder and harder to keep being productive and work. I just feel like Ive just gotten worse and worse and I feel like its getting harder to be happy or excited anymore. My winter break was incredibly stressfull when it should have just been fun. I almost had a panic attack just on thinking about presents to get for my family. I feel like no matter how hard I try to get up, theres something holding me back. And I dont know what.
@SeasonsAfterFall It could all stem from one main thing. Dig deep. Try to find what it is. It could be a moment that gave you a certain state of mind, it could be something you're subconsciously worrying about. I believe in you, and believe that you can get out of this.
@AlphaPheonix4720
im quite lost, I'm also at that age where I have to make decisions and such but I'm also moving, going to a new school in my freshmen year, knowing nobody, and I have to decide where I'm going to move. I also have this big big big big big fear of growing up and that's all I'm doing and I know it's just apart of life but it saddens me and a friend of mine. I've been cutting for awhile and I'm not that scared to say it. Nobody except my friend knows about it and I can't tell anyone else because it's already so awkward with my friend and I, everything is so forced or limited nowadays. All I can say to sum it up is that I'm lost, like lost in a forest thousands away from a city or anything.
@sav1annah
I know how that feels to feel lost and Im sure everyone has been through something like that. If it helps, Ive been through something very similar and Imve learnt to try to stick with people who have similar hobbies or intrests. For me since I enjoy games I ended up finding others who had aswell and stuck with them. Ive never gone as far as cutting though Ive certainly thought of hurting myself and me bing me I was kinda spooked about using a knife so at one point I ended up using my house keys. It can be really terrifying going to a new place freshman, but it gets better, or at the very least manageable. I hope it all goes well for you, I know it can be scarry or you can feel so lost thinking about all the factors that affect the experience. Im not really sure how much this will help.. but if you need to rant at all you can always rant/talk about it.
@sav1annah I'm not really qualified to properly give you professional help or whatever, but when I was going through those fears and feelings, I soon figured out that there was no point being scared of, running, hiding from it. So I changed my perspective. Imagine that you are a kid on a beach, scared of the waves. A big wave is coming, and you know you can't run from it; It's too fast. So what do you do? You hunker down in the sand, you brace yourself, and you ride that wave like a champ instead of being hit by it.
What I'm trying to say is, We all have to face big changes in life. But all you can do is adapt to them, change with them.
That's my advice. I'm sorry if it doesn't help.
@AlphaPheonix4720
Wow I haven't been felt so related. I thought I was the only one 😔😔😔
@Stardust1206 Really? You too?
I feel hopeless. My boyfriend is depressed and used to be very open about his thoughts and feelings with me but now has been very closed off. I feel like no matter how much I try, or how much space I give him, he just isn't happy. I don't know how to help with his depression and he wont talk to anyone. I love him so much. I just wish he would open up.
@CareForYou19 sounds like a case of the heebie jeebies from the cottage cheese man
@CareForYou19 Maybe if you tried to gently probe him, try to convince him that he could be helped, he could open up. Also, people change as they get older, so depending on your boyfriend's age, he could also have a changing personality.
I just found out my father is gay. I dont know how to cope
@shakyshane What do you mean cope? Being gay isn't a bad thing. And if you think that means he didn't love your mother or that you may be adopted, then actually that's probably not true. If he created you, then he must have loved your mother a lot.
Annoyed that national hotlines tell me to talk to my therapist and my therapist tells me to talk to the hotlines. Am I really so hopeless and negative right now that no one wants to deal with me? Never thought my fears of being a burden would be confirmed by the people who are supposed to help. I think I'm just done altogether with everything.
It's not that no-one wants to deal with you, it's just that the hotlines think that only a therapist can help with specific personal needs, and the therapist probably thinks that only hotlines can help[ in a desperate situation.
I'm in a bit of a tough spot. I've had severe depression since I was probably 13ish. I was mildly depressed before but my church got a youth leader that likes to blame me for every little thing that went wrong. She made me feel like I would never be good enough and I started cutting when I was 14. However after talking to my best friend I stopped a couple months later. It was hard. The pain made it easier to ignore everything else. I never fell into the trap of drugs and alcohol and stuff like my siblings did. Cutting is literally the only thing I've done. So I stayed clean until New Year's Day this year. I relapsed. And I have never hated myself more than when I picked up that blade after so long. I thought I could cope better. My dad left a week after my 18 birthday and I graduated a few months later. My brother was arrested, as seems to be his habit, and plunged my name into rumors all over again just like when I was a little kid and we had to move from my hometown. I was accepted into a nursing class program, I lost my job, and my dog died all in one swath. The nursing class I thought would be a good way to keep my head occupied so I wouldn't think to much. I failed out by Christmas. My parents officially divorced a week and a half before Halloween. We moved into a small farmhouse an hour away from where we used to live. My brother got out of jail and somehow found the new house and my mom let him in despite knowing what he would do. I rolled and totaled my car trying to get to the store on a rainy day off the sandy dirt road we live on. My brother cussed us out even as I was picking glass out of my hair and checking that I wasn't hurt. I was the only one in the car when I wrecked. My mom finally called the police and informed his parole officer that he had been violating the terms of his parole by leaving the state several times since his release. He doesn't live with us anymore and I've taken the initiative to block him from contacting me, and it hurts so bad because when I was little he practically raised me. He was the only sibling I thought I could trust even a little bit. But I'll always be a worthless piece of shit to him. My oldest sister who has always been exceptionally good at making me feel worthless came the week of New Years. Which is part of what triggered me so bad. I hadn't known she was coming until an hour before she actually arrived. The next day I tried to explain to my mom how my sister makes me feel and why it's so hard for me to be around her and her family. During this conversation I used the words "in my home." To which my mom replied with "its not your home, it's mine and you're just staying there." It all piled up that night and New Year's Day was the next morning and it kept piling and piling until I cut that night. Everyone is expecting me to go back to school and get a nursing degree. Both of my parents are currently in serious relationships, which I think is fine, if strange considering we were a family not that long ago. For my birthday my dad flew up to stay with him and his girlfriend. This would be fine and I would love it way more if he wouldn't be asking me if I'm okay with theirs relationship and if I like her and reminding me to say thank you every five minutes. I love his girlfriend she's amazing and honestly she makes me feel more valid than I ever felt before. I am literally the only child that says thank you for stupid things. I say thank you when I'm assigned homework. I say thank you when I'm handed a list of chores. I say thank you for everything and the more he naggs at me to be grateful the more useless I feel. Because I am grateful. So grateful for what I thought would be a chance to heal a little bit. When I told my mom I was asexual she told me I would change my mind. Now no matter what I just hate myself and just want the pain to end. I have recently discovered myself as non-binary and I'd never been happier to look in the mirror. But after my mom's reaction to me being ace I am genuinely terrified to come out as anything to anyone. My dad claims to be supportive of me no matter what but I can't help but doubt that after everything. The more I interact with the people closest to me right now the more I hate myself and feel like everything about me is wrong. I'm unnatural and worthless and disgusting. I've tried to ask for help before only to be brushed off. I'm used to being unimportant so I don't know why it hurts so much every time my feeling are reinforced. I'm sorry for the huge long story. I really just needed to get this out.
@ThatDepressedMermaid It's fine that you said all this stuff. That's kinda what this forum thread is for, after all. Now, on to your story. People always say "Bad things happen to everyone", but every so often, you get that one person whose backstory is like a tragic movie character's. Now (and please don't make yourself feel worse when I say this stuff), What happens to those people in movies? That's right, they get better. They move on. They start out feeling all horrible and in a bad situation, and they fix it. You don't need to worry about your brother, or what your mum said, or any of that. Try living one day at a time. I would develop a goal, and every day, move towards that one Goal. Every day when you wake up, with every decision you make, think "How will this help me get to my goal?". It will help you get through the this just that little bit more. It will help focus on the here, the now, instead of the big picture and your past or future. That's all the advice I can give right now.
I just lost some university friends due to some misunderstanding. I was heartbroken, cause' I truly care about them. They've seen me at my worst. But I couldn't be part of that group now - things are complicated. Anyway, losing them really sucks. Although we still follow each other on social media, but we don't work together anymore so I don't get to see them. I feel like I have lost them. We don't see one another anymore.
I feel numb all the time, not only because of this particular event but everything that has happened in my life. I rarely feel glad. I just pretend to be happy when I'm with my friends. I sometimes read self-help books, so I'm reminded that I should be grateful and bad times will pass. So I don't really feel down, but I don't feel content/glad either. I just feel numb. Emptiness. Meaningless. No motivation. Existence is painful.
@jasminekansuet I know what it's like to feel these things. Heck, I went through it not too long ago. When it happened to me, I just developed an idol, person to focus on. Every decision, I would think "What would they do". It would help me focus on the here and now. From there I just slogged my way through life, and over the course of a month or so, it got better.
