Forgetting depression
I know this probably is a quite unusual headline, but bear with me.
(I'm also sorry about the length of it.)
I was wondering if someone else knows this feeling and how everyone is dealing with it:
Whenever I get depressed I work hard to get out of it again. I reset my daily routine to make time for self-care again, I try to get out of the house and I stop isolating myself. I even see my therapist regularly. All of that is working quite good for me and I can watch a slow rise in mood happening again after some time (including a few set backs, but those happen).
But I'm pretty guilty about forgetting my mental health problems straight away when I'm starting to get better. Some might instantly react to this with "lucky you, I never get a break from it" and yeah, I do feel very thankful for not always being depressed (anxiety tends to stick around longer than depression, but even that kinda calms down a lot when my depression has taken a step back). But to be honest, it's kinda annoying as well.
Since I forget about my depression and my bad mental health I stop working against it and don't do any preventive care anymore. I stop making sure to socialize regularly, I get addicted to my phone again (screentime going up to 8-10 hours a day), I don't mind staying inside for days without going out for a walk, I don't do my therapy homework as much as I should and I don't do any form of self-care anymore because "I'm fine".
So fast forward to holidays of any type and I'm suddenly back at rock bottom because I now have nothing to stop my mind from remembering my depression.
I thought for a while that it could be seasonal depression because I usually tend to feel even worse in winter, but that might just be because of the christmas holidays where I'm suddenly faced with a lot of people who caused my bad mental health in the first place. But sadly, summer break gives me the exact same meltdowns.
(As long as I don't have anything planned. My family bought a small place at a camping side last year and since we had to put in quite a lot of work I never stopped for too long to have my brain go haywire again.)
This also happens on a small scale when pulling myself out of my depression. I have a pretty good day where I don't overwork myself but have some stuff to do and just forget about my mental illness until I suddenly have a quiet moment and remember that I didn't even drink enough the day because I was too focussed on being fine. No self-care happening.
Does anyone else have a similar situation? What did you do to get out of that and take care of yourself in the good mental health phases as well?
I'm trying to build self-care up as a habit so it will become routine instead of something I have to remember, but I also tend to just drop routines as soon as I'm fine.
I'd really like to start building up more prevention in hope of minimizing the amount of time I relapse. But building things up when you forget they even exist is pretty hard. 😅
@miillktea hi I know that feeling to. I know exactly how you feel. It’s a common thing. I know I already do it all the time without trying. When I feel I’m ok I don’t feel nothing what has helped me get to a good place matters cuz I’m fine. I say if I’m ok it doesn’t matter but it should matter and it does. Just cuz I’m fine don’t mean it’s ok now. I know that but not. I find it’s the motivation for me when I need to do something and it’s whether I can be bothered and if will help. I know it will help but usually I say I don’t need to do it cuz I’m ok. That what you are like to? For me it’s the motivation and just doing it. Setting a routine and a goal and do it. Just say you will. I do find friend friends and family can help to but people say it’s you what has to do it and it’s true. Do you struggle with motivation? Right now I feel ok. I could say I don’t need to do this or that but I know if I do it I will feel better but seems cuz I am ok I don’t need to feel better cuz I am. It’s strange. I would try set goals or clear path. That’s what I think. It is motivation and effort. Getting support helps.
I don't know if motivation is a problem for me, since I'm pretty motivated to keep working on myself. But yes, it's pretty hard staying focused on keeping up with self-care one you're alright.
Thank you for your words. It's nice knowing someone else feels like this too.
Sometimes you might need a energy boost. Look at lifestyle or anything. Like diet. Might need more carbs or protein. Do you get tired easily? If so ask why? Write down when you do? What starts it up when it comes on
I could try to do that.
Maybe I'll start a small list to see what exactly is going on when it starts back up again.
Thank you!
Hey,I’m glad you reached out!
Just remember to know you make good progress and don’t forget that. Work towards always getting better. The mental health training is still pretty good to do and works towards only positive results, they’re great to do.
It’s normal to feel this way, your making progress! That’s awesome!
Thank you so much for your kind words!
Sometimes it's hard to remember that progress is still happening even if it feels like there's non.
Hi,
New here as well. I'm seeing a lot that I can relate to. Things have been pretty tough lately for me and I have reached out for help. I'm reading books and found 7 cups. One of the books I've read talked about building a tool box. Basically a notebook filled with feelings and how I manage myself through it. Today has been a really good day I cant wait to go home and journal about today..
It's the small things I want to write down. The good things I want to remember. I hope you have a good day as well, I wish you smiles!!