Help Finding Motivation?
My depression's gotten worse than it has been in a good while, and this time it's namely affecting my behaviors. My motivation to do anything has just disappeared. Normally I'd put off reading books or watching TV shows that I like because I was busy and I'd make excuses for avoiding it, but I'd still find enjoyment from other things. Now I find myself getting out of bed at ridiculous times just because I didn't feel like getting up. Or I put off eating because I can't find it in me to go downstairs or to bother making something to eat. I have things to do and it's taking me far too long to actually do them.
Mentally, I know it's not "hard" to do any of these things and I know how little physical energy all of the tasks I put off take. I know that there's nothing "holding me back" from doing anything I want to. But I can't seem to find or feel any drive or desire to do anything. Or, if I make myself go through with something, I get no enjoyment from it. I just sit there, feeling empty like nobody's home.
It also doesn't help that then, when a day passes and I've done nothing, I start feeling really guilty for being so lazy - but instead of driving me to do something different, I end up feeling worse and nothing changes.
Does anyone have any experience with this themselves or have any tips to break the cycle and regain a sense of motivation?
@CatDownTheRabbitHole, I feel the same way, this year I have 4 months off over the summer which is an incredibly long time and before I broke up I was thinking of all the stuff I was going to do like trying to sell paintings, making music, getting a job, going out with friends etc. Pretty much 2 months in and I'm not even 1/3 of the way through the first painting with very little enjoyment, some music stuff and haven't even attempted to get a job, nor have I made any attempt to go anywhere or do anything. It's getting to a point where simple tasks that having a shower or getting some breakfast feel like ridiculously difficult tasks. Some of my family mention how lazy I am which annoys me because I see what they see, I know how lazy and pathetic I am I just can't seem to change it. I also have the same guilt at the end of the day when I haven't done anything. The only thing that helped me recently was the hot weather but I think the only reason it helped was because it gave me and excuse to be lazy rather than actually motivating me (which obviously isn't a very good solution xD)
@HardenedGlass I can certainly relate (especially about the job hunt and the family reactions). I wish there was an easy, fail-proof way to say "I swear I'm not that lazy, I'm just really struggling here" that everyone would believe without judging you. Then again I keep wondering if that's even true with me or if I really am just lazy and making excuses, lol. Either way, I really hope managing things gets easier for you!! Trying to take things day by day and using a to-do list has been helping me a little bit. If you're not trying either of those things, I'd recommend giving it a go! (The to-do list is really good for me because I've been getting really forgetful, so it gives me a few things to aim to do in a day.)
@CatDownTheRabbitHole Hey. First of all thank you for sharing your story. I think it's very brave for you to put yourself out there. Losing motivation has been a symptom of depression that I have often experienced. When I was super depressed, even little things like taking a shower seemed impossible for me to do because I just couldn't bring myself to do it. This may sound dumb, but I would tell myself little encouraging things to help myself. Like, yay you did it! That helped me. I too struggled with losing interest in things. I'm still struggling to get that back, but I take every day a little bit at a time and in short doses. I try not to let myself feel too guilty for it for too long because that makes it so much worse for me. I really hope you find some motivation and start loving the things you loved again really soon. As always, there are listeners here who would love to chat with you 1:1 if you feel you need some extra support. Thank you again and good luck.
@CatDownTheRabbitHole
Thankyou for letting us know your story, I know its hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel but we're here for you, feel free to talk more about it.
@CatDownTheRabbitHole
:)
