Helping others to get out of depression
I need help to overcome my depression
Hi @needpeace213! Would you like to tell us more about your struggles? We are here to listen.
*hugs*
I just cut.
I know it isn't the answer but I can't stop.
It feels like I'm possessed.
I'm not the same anymore.
Don't be like me.
@kgrace, I'm sorry that you don't feel in control, lovely. It must be hard for you. I think you are just doing as best as you can to cope with your pain. Have you seen the community guide on that topic?
Also, may I ask how are you doing this week? I'd love to hear from you.
Sending you all of my hope and strength and nice dreams!
*hugs*
Here's my situation: I've known my fiancé for over 12 years. The first year was amazing until we broke up, I honestly don't know what happened. A year had gone by without seeing or hearing from him until my birthday when he sent me flowers. Even though there was no card I knew they were from him. He had been thinking about me the whole time. We eventually got back together and again things were amazing. 10 months in to our relationship I found out I was pregnant. He was upset and started to distance himself from me. He was scared but eventually wanted to be a part of it. Then, when I was 8 months along I found out he was back with his ex. I was devastated. She left him and I didn't want anything to do with him. I hadn't heard from him until the beginning of the month our baby was due. He was emailing me, texting me, calling my parents, calling the hospital etc to see if I was ok. I wasn't getting back to him but eventually I sent him photos of our daughter and he wanted to see her. It was so difficult to have him over and not have it be like it was before. I told him it hurt to see him and he told me the same. He's always told me he loves me but he's made such a huge mess. We decided to get back together and by the time our daughter was over a year old he asked me to marry him. For the past 8 years things have been great, but occasionally he gets down but it always passes. When he gets like this I find myself pulling away and becoming withdrawn. He complains that he always has to initiate affection which is mostly true. I'm not the most affectionate person in the world but I do love him and show him. Then things are ok again. We really are great together, he's been very loving and he's done so much for us. We just bought a new house together a few years ago. I thought things were good but I'd say over the past month he was becoming distant. I really didn't know why and thought it would pass like it always does but then he confessed to me he wasn't happy and hadn't been pretty much the whole time we have been together. He thought he could eventually become happy but how he was feeling was slowly killing him and he had planned to kill himself. I think it scared him enough that he said he's going to therapy and get on meds because he wants nothing more than to be happy. The only thing is he's not sure things can be fixed between us. He says he loves me but he's been holding on to the guilt of what he did not just to me but to the other girl and he's never been able to let go. I've asked him if he wants to leave me for her and he says "oh god no!" He hopes to never see her again. (She's moved on and is married) He works up north so I only see him 2 weeks out of the month but he's been home for 3 days now. Since he's been home there's been lots of hugs, tears, we were even intimate the other night. He's been very affectionate when we're in each other's arms, and he gives me kisses on the head. But at the same time when we're not hugging each other he's distant, and has been hanging with his friends and doesn't come home until after 1am. I asked him the other night if it's over between us and he couldn't answer. I asked him yesterday if we are broken up and he said he doesn't think so. I know he's confused, scared and doesn't know what to do, he said he just wants to be happy and would like to see things work out for us, but he seems pretty adamant that he's being punished for his past actions and he will not allow himself to be happy. All I can hope for is the therapy and meds will help him find his way back to us. I just need to know what to do. I'm so lost and I just cry all the time and can't function. I know this isn't good for him to see me like this as I'm sure it'll just push him away further. It's hard living in the same house and he's still so far away. What can I do? I want our relationship to work more than anything.
@amicableSky7393, thank you for letting us know about your problem, I know how difficult it is to be honest. I can sense that you are overwhelmed with your current relationship, there is so much going on that the confusion - yours and his - is understandable. It is complicated. It is painful. You have every right to feel a maelstrom of emotions right now. I don't fully know your situation, because the only person who can truly comprehend it is yourself, but I think that your husband have his own problems which are shadowing your relationship. His confusion and guilt can have a source in depression or any other mood disorder. I'm glad that he is seeking help, because I think this will give him a clarity. In such times making any major decision is not wise, because we are not fully ourselves. But that's about him.
I really don't have any advice for you. And I think giving it can really harm your life, because we don't know and understand the full picture here. The thing I know is that you need to remember about your own needs and the needs of your child. It is a hard situation, but you are not alone. We are here for you. We can support you. I encourage you to visit relationship forum - there is a lot of people who have similar experiences and that can give you more of personal insights.
Please, remember to take good care of yourself. Wishing you all the best!
Hey guys,
Depression is tough, I have suffered for years, but have learned to live with it.
The problem with depression is that we cannot get people over it, they have to do it themselves. However, a kind word, someone to listen, or just generally be there and be supportive can make all the difference.
I am more than happy to be there for someone who needs support, and I am sure there are many others on here who will also. This is a great and loving community, and sometimes love is all it takes. 
Help us save the bisabilaty room
I've noticed when I go to depression rooms I feel worse afterwards. One person mildly depressed. Next is moderately depressed. Next is severely depressed. Soon many are suicidal or engaging in self harm. I went in one night and people were playing movie trivia. Within 30 minutes I was laughing. Guided discussions help also. Is there anyway to refocus these rooms where there is still support for depression but the emphasis is placed on positive coping skills and how to battle depression??
@mutter3
I think depression is very different in each person, and only they can battle it. But you are right. Positive coping skills, like the cognitive behaviour therapy can work really well for people. For me, this didn't work. I cope in my own individual way. Joining in chats that are uplifting and positive or being with people in general that are happy and upbeat can bring you up too. 
@mutter3, I often have a similar emotional response ^^; Maybe that's an individual thing, I don't really know. But I much more prefer forums or guided discussions only. It's easier for me to handle and process information and my own reactions.
Have you consider leaving a feedback to the Team on the subject?
@Sunrise1234, that's an amazing and admirable goal. Thank you for sacrificing your time to help others in their darkest times. It's greatly appreciated.
Best wishes!