If I could tell my depression anything, I would tell it........

If i would talk to depression...

Depression I will be hurting u as u hurt me so much before. That is not fair !!!

I would ask it to make me stronger for once.

I'm exhausted of climbing and falling over and over.

Why won

Depression,

Please go away. I used to be so much better than this.

If I could talk to my depression I would scream it to LEAVE ME FUCKING ALONE AND HAPPY

To just please go away. To stop telling me things that undermine my self worth. To stop making me feel like no one cares about me.

Stop being a thorn at my side and sucking the life out of me. I have things to do.

You can

Go away already. Please.

Please just let me have my reliability back again.

Let me be who I was before.

Stop disabling me so I can no longer take care of and protect myself or those I love. Please stop disabling me and making normal tasks feel like they're the most energy-draining, stressful, most miserable things I've ever had to endure. Stop constantly undermining my self-worth and skewing my perception to affirm only your negative confirmation bias. Stop taking away all good memories that contradict your negative narrative and stop stealing from me the few good things I can remember experiencing.

Stop stripping me of my brain's reward system, so that nothing feels pleasurable anymore. I want to feel good things! You're hurting me and upending my life! Please stop! Please leave already! I've tried everything I can think of to try and treat you and your buddies, generalized anxiety and social anxiety. Thank goodness your cohort panic attacks isn't plaguing me still.

I want to feel safe in the world. I want to feel lovable. And you're taking that away from me. You're not helping. You're hurting. You're taking the good and leaving only the bad. You're taking away my ability to see a future where anything gets better. When you're really strong, I feel really weak. Sometimes, you even take from me my desire to preserve my own life. All I can think of is how much pain I'm feeling (emotionally and physically) and a means to make the suffering stop.

You're undermining my relationships by making me believe and feel I'm not lovable, even though I know there are people who do have those loving feelings towards me. You're crippling me in the present and taking from me my hope for a better future. You're taking everything from me.

So please, just stop already. Please, just leave.

Depression,

F U C K. O F F.