I first noticed I was living with depression when......

Everything makes me tired. For example: I got up today, made dinner, and went to bed.

That's when I realised everything I'd done were for others. There are nothing for me. When life hits me hard, I fall hard too, alone. I pray to have someone through those days but I had none.

When I started to withdraw from school, people and my family.. not leaving my bedroom then gradually the house, I stopped talking and smiling all at the age of 15. Now I'm 19 an thought I'd overcome that part of my life when really I just learnt how to bury it, jokes on me because now all it wants to do is breakout an suffocate me all over again.

When it went from living with depression, to depression is life. There is nothing else but sadness, misery and lonliness. Ive tried thearpy, medication and meditation and it hasn't helped. I've come to the end of my rope.

My family voiced their concerns about my lifestyle to me; told me that all I did was lie in bed, sleep all day and live in a mess. Used smoking or drinking or eating junk to fill the hole inside of me. I used to be reasonably tidy and a morning person. Now I feel disappointed when I wake up.

ever since i left home about 4 months ago, i stil have depression up until now, i have to go through it everyday, i was depressed because i have been batteling with myself, i am suffering from anxiety, panic and over stressing. but i am, i am trying to calm myself down, i was worried about everything in my life but the most that breaks me was my first heart break, along with my eating disorder, everyday is a battle for me i am tense because maybe one day i might see the person who was causing me too much pain, i am pushing him away and avoiding him yet i was scared to see him again because i might see myself getting destroyed again.

I was raped in march 2016.. since I'm like a zombie.. I spent all my time at bed or watching some series just for escape from my life... since that day I just hate my self.. because i think that is probably my fault if it happen to me... I stop see my "friends".. I stop to draw.. ( Is my passion ) but now I fell anything when I'm drawing... only thing that I do is crying... I tried to suicide.. the last tentative was in the end of November 2017.. I drunk all night an day a pills for anxiety... but I was saved... They give me so many antidepressant (?) I came back at home but I feel they don't understand me ... They don't understand that I need support... I'm trying to be fine.. but is very difficult ... I'm doing all thing alone by my self... I mean I'm always do all thing by my self without help of my parents since I'm little girl... but now I'm tired..

I remember the exact moment when depression hit me. I was 8 years old, in the sanctuary at a church for VBS in the middle of summer. We were singing an upbeat and fun song and everyone was jumping up and down and having fun and I just stopped suddenly and felt like I had been ripped out of the atmosphere and j just sat down in the pew and wanted to cry. I had no idea what was going on or why I felt the way I did; I was just a little kid and besides, shouldn't I be having fun? Everyday after that moment, the feeling of depression stuck around to varing degrees every single day. I briefly went to therapy as a little kid because I guess I scared my mom when I told her what I was feeling. I eventually stopped going because I was more concerned about the games I got to play there than talking about what was wrong, I mean, I didn't even know what was wrong. As I entered middle school, depression got worse and I hit a point where I eventually attempted suicide at the age of 12. It was half assed and I ended up just stopping, no one knew about it. Freshman year of college I started cutting and grew increasingly more suicidal. After being pressured by my now ex, I finally started getting help. I've come a long way, I'm now a junior in college, but I still self harm, have suicidal thoughts, and depression is still there every fucking day. Im seeing a therapist now and she has faith in me to get better. Hopefully one day I am.

Finding a reason to live took too much effort. I was tired all the time and didn't want to talk to people. And then felt more alone in the vicious cycle of depression.

I didn't want to go to school, and when I was there, I just wanted to leave. I didn't wanna read the assigned books or be involved in class or talk to anybody there. I noticed this change because, as a kid, I enjoyed learning and socializing and seeing my teachers and friends.