I�m depressed and it�s my own fault
I go to sleep everyday wishing that I never have to wake up again. I spend hours everyday thinking about the day I finally get to leave this world. But no one knows how I
@Grace1150
Hello Grace, even if my message won't give you much relief, i want you to know i'm here for you! I know how difficult depression is, the eternal painof surviving each day, but that shows you're so strong. You survived, are you are still here, seeking for help. I know how difficult it is not to tell your family, I also experienced the same thing. I was terrified to tell my parents thinking they won't understand, believing they won't help. However, I was so wromg, and i wouldn't be here today without them. I won't force you to tell your family, but i encourage you to do so! It will bring you the happiness you are yearning, and it will be the best descision for you! I'm praying for you and your road to recovery, i believe in you. Don't forget, you're so strong!
@Grace1150
I really feel for you, I've been stuck in a similar place for years, and everytime someone reaches out to me I instincitvely withhold my true feelings. It sounds like your mother really does, truly care, I know how uncomfortable and hard it is to open up to, especially parental figures, or people who it just feels like they won't understand. But I genuinely believe your mum has your best interests in mind, and it is not too late. In a few years time, you could say the same thing, but it has to begin with you, and if you've made it this far you're definitely strong enough. Keep in mind that assuredly, things will get better, and reaching out to your mom will definitely set you on this track faster.
I would just like to suggest that you write your mom a letter, and say what you need to say. Sometimes it's easier to talk about our feelings on paper. It doesn't feel as threatening.
You took a good first step to come on here and talk about what's going on. That'll be the first stepping stone to getting better. Do you have any ways that let you release your emotions? For example, do you like to write in a journal or do you like to exercise? doinf small things like that will relieve some of the negative emotions.