I need help...
This year to summerize was the worst ever. Last year was my 8th grade and I had some anxiety but this year it got so bad. It started with bad thoughts then panic attacks. But then this guy came into my life and he made it worse. He mentally abused me without knowing. He called me selfish and said my problems are small to other and said my depression was too much. He had problems too and depression and I thought he understood but he didnt. He used everything I told him against me and mentally killed me. He made me have panic attacks everyday. Multiple a day. I couldnt break up with him because he would say Id u do I will kill my self. I was so broken and idk what to do. I feel so lost. Since that was in October. Some things got better. But some worse. I dont like my body or my looks or my personality because I got beaten down so much by not only him but so many people. He said he had depression so wouldnt he understand at least a little of what I was going through. I mean I got to the point I started to cut I was so lost and hurt and wanted the pain gone. Why doesnt anyone see what is going on. I talk to one guy the say Im annnoying or they just talk ab themselves. Why can I just be treated like a human being. Because I feel like Im getting treated like I dont have feelings. Like I dont have a voice. How do I go to sleep with those memories of my panic attacks?? The memory of what he said to me??
@navyRaspberries7 I am really sorry for you. Your word touch my heart a lot. Only thing that I can say is sometimes we take off negative and bad people from our life to be more productive and happy in own life. It is your life, enjoy every moment don't share it with bad people, don't trust people. There are some bad ones they abuse and gives negative energy to take off there depression on you to feel better. So I can only advice you to beak up with him because he is not good for you he must respect you and help you. Not treat you badly maybe he is so risky in your life and your body( he can be aggressif after)
@limegreenTown6633
Thank you for your response. I broke up with him in November but recently it has been coming back. all the memories. The pain. Idk how to deal with it. He hurt me so much. It also doesnt help that my friends are finding these amazing guys while I just get the ones who hurt me.
@navyRaspberries7
First of all I have to say it was very brave of you to break up with him. I'm sure it wasn't easy at all, despite all the abuse. Maybe you don't realise it yet, but you did a great thing there, you chose yourself, and that's not selfishness. That means that you are able to save yourself from negative situations and it's a difficult thing to learn in life, trust me.
Of course it's hard seeing your friends in good relationships, I had the same problem and of course it makes you feel like you're doing something wrong. But that's not true and it's not even important. Take your time now to work on yourself. Pain will come back a lot of times, but every time you will be better at fighting it. Don't give up and trust yourself.
And remember that this is not just the end of something, it can be a new beginning, try to make this new beginning as good as you can.
Im so lost in my mind. So many people dont understand when I said that I cant fight that little voice in the back of my head and its stressing me out. Idk what to do with myself. Im losing myself and Ive been in a really bad place once before. If I get to that point again idk what Ill do to myself. Im so lost and I just dont knoe what to do anymore. I feel like I lost
@navyRaspberries7
That's exactly what he wants you to think. You can't give up. Times may be tough, but you have to find a way to push away those thoughts and persevere through this. It's just another one of life's obstacles, and it wouldn't have been placed there if you weren't able to handle it yourself.
@MuteKid666
Sorry, the last sentence seems a bit harsh. What I meant to say is that you wouldn't be facing this obstacle if your mind wasn't strong enough to overcome this.
@MuteKid666 I understand what your saying but I am just feeling more lost and so distant from the world. Like I cant even be happy for my best friend for the guy shes talking to because Im just so upset with how Ive only met bad ones. I just getting jealous which is such a selfish thing to do. For years Ive wanted to meet someone and fall in love and Im young but its getting to a point where Im losing hope. I dont think Ill ever find someone.
