It's been years, and it seems like I just can't heal
I just logged into here for the first time in a few years, I mostly used this website when I was in high school in 2020 when I would say my depression was at its worst, but still three years later I'm still depressed and still feel hopeless. I've tried so many resources and options, but it really feels like things aren't getting better. I sometimes wonder if it's possible for me to get better. I've been to therapy, I've tried medications, I've called the hotlines. I've moved, I've met new people, made new connections, but still I feel the same. I want to believe I can get better, but I've tried so much for so long that it seems like I can't. I remember even before 2020, I didn't want to live then. Now it's 2023, and I still don't want to live. I just want to live a normal life and be happy. I can't remember a time in my life where I truly felt completely okay, there has always been some sort of conflict or pain. I wish I could just live a day in a life where I knew everything would be fine.
With how cruel and twisted life is I'll probably be back here again in 2026.
@s2k3 You will be fine. Waiting for your good news!
@s2k3
I see this wish or hope a lot here .....................for a "normal and happy" life ...........
i do not think those are together.....ever.... a normal life has ups and downs twists and turns and each day can be different........and for happy what does that include ........................i think you could find many answers to that...... one cannot feel happy unless at some time they experienced sorrow,
the normal happy life without worry, anxiety, some depression, and boredom etc......... the idea of a HAPPY life is a very successful fantasy that is sold in media and fairy tales...........
Thank you for sharing your story on here. It sounds like you've been struggling with depression for a long time and have tried many different resources and options to feel better. It's understandable that after trying so much, you might feel discouraged and wonder if it's even possible to get better.
It's important to remember that everyone's journey with mental health is different and recovery can be a nonlinear process. What works for one person may not work for another, and it's okay to keep exploring different options for support.
It sounds like you're longing for a sense of normalcy and happiness in your life, which is completely understandable. What are some things that bring you joy or a sense of purpose? How can you incorporate more of those things into your life, even in small ways?
It's also important to address any negative thoughts or beliefs you may have about yourself or your future. Have you ever tried cognitive-behavioral therapy to challenge these thoughts and reframe them in a more positive and realistic light?
I want to remind you that you're not alone in your struggles and that there is hope for recovery, even if it may not feel like it right now. Have you considered reaching out to a mental health professional or support group to continue exploring different options for healing and growth?
Remember to be kind to yourself and give yourself credit for the strength and resilience you've shown in your journey so far.
