Lonely with thoughts (Replies would be appreciated)
Crisis thoughts trigger warning (added by AffyAvo)
im in secondary school (9th grade) I used to have a bunch of friends but due to many arguments a lot of them left me especially the pretty popular ones and dragged the others to hate me as well. I’m completely lost and alone I’ve made a few friends with new kids and mutuals in my classes but I haven’t formed a close bond or even anything I’d call a friendship yet. I mostly sit alone in break in the library with grades younger than me surrounded and it’s safe to say even though I appreciate their company and care for them a lot it does feel hurtful that no one from my grade would ever hangout that much with me.
im trying to get closer to my friends from the old circle but it seems like there is a big wall between me and them some days they talk to me some days it’s like I’m invisible. I’m ignored a lot and I feel like I’m losing myself and my happiness more and more everyday. The popular kids of my old group definitely don’t even look at me I’m not sure if they’re talking about me or not and I pray to God they aren’t.
i don’t think I’ll ever get invited to hangouts after school or parties or birthdays or anything of the sort. I was left off three hangouts over the summer because the popular kids didn’t want me there. There hasn’t been any out of school hangouts yet but one of the girl’s birthdays is soon and I don’t think I’m going to be invited which hurts because she used to be a close friend.
they all hangout in the gym during breaks taking pictures and laughing, using their phones and all that. I got some pictures taken of me by some mutuals or friends but none were ever posted on their socials like how the others were posted. I’m mostly ignored and sit alone in quiet afraid to approach anyone and no one seeming to approach me. I feel like I’m just not loved and cannot be loved and it hurts me, I deal with suicidal thoughts everyday because of the loneliness and emptiness I’ve been feeling.
it’s definitely especially rough this year due to me having PTSD from past trauma and the main thing sustaining me was some of these friends.
@Taintedrose112 Do you have a school counselor you can talk to?
Unfortunately we don’t have many school counselors but I can give it a try to talk to one
It does suck, I know, I was in your shoes before. I'm only 18 now but I can look back on it and see how my life has changed. I was very antisocial back then, I would normally eat alone and study alone. It does suck now, but it is temporary, everything is temporary. Every single one of your hardest days you have made it through, and you will make it through these too. Life is long and there is a lot of time to make new friends and find people who you click with. It sucks but it is temporary my friend.
Wow thank you <3 your words truly helped me I’m really appreciative of you
Sending some strength. Other posters are right about this kind of situation not lasting forever. But that doesn't make it less painful now.
I guess in your shoes I would probably focus on activities. What kinds of things do you like to do? Sports? Reading? Art? Music? If you can find a group inside school or outside school that likes doing the same kind of thing together than the obnoxious, rude group that is hurting you won't be able to really do so anymore. You will find the power in yourself.@Taintedrose112
@Taintedrose112 It sounds like you are going through a lot right now.
If push comes to shove I would maybe text a crisis line. I know things feel overwhelming
but you got this !
@Taintedrose112 I edited the title slightly and put a trigger warning at the top of your post.
I do hope you are getting the support you need. Please remember when currently experiencing suicide ideation, 7 Cups isn't an appropriate resource. The crisis policy includes resources you can contact., plus there is a resource page When not in the midst of crisis you are welcome here!
thank you for your concern but I am not in a crisis. Many people in the depression forum have expressed similar thoughts that they never acted upon. 7 cups is a more than appropriate place to express your feelings and thoughts. If I was in a crisis I wouldn’t be here. Again thank you for your concern but I really do not need you assuming I’m in a crisis just because I expressed thoughts many who struggle with depression have.
The more important thing is how are you feeling now?@Taintedrose112
hello... I just read your story and I wanted to tell you first of all that what happened is by no means your fault and that I'm sure that you're a funny, loyal, and great to be around friend. You deserve love and I'm 100% sure you'll find people who'll appreciate you.
Highschool is a difficult era because teenagers can be cruel sometimes... I highly encourage you to talk with your parents/siblings about this issue. If they see the importance of this topic and how much you are suffering maybe they offer you to pay for a psychologist or another mental health professional.
I know your life is hard right now... something similar happened to me in high school and I felt miserable every day, I even thought that something was wrong with me because I was seeing nobody else in my situation. But when time goes by, everything changes... I swear to you that things will be better in the future, trust me :). Also, congratulations for having the enourmous strength required to talk about your experience, you're in the good path !!! Hope you have a great day !!!
