One relationship in my life that makes me sad is......

My relationships with my family, especially my wife and two beautiful children make me sad because of the trauma and agony and hurt I have caused them and put them through.

The relationship I have with my child's father, the man I truly love. My relationship with him is so toxic and all we ever do is hurt each other. No matter how much he hurts me, if he's ever in need of anything, I'm still there for him. I don't understand how it's so hard for me to break way from this situation, and to make me feel even more dumb, he's cheated on me in the past!! I have suspicions it's still contuning. This makes me really sad all the time. I want my son to have a good life but I'm so miserable.

My relationship with my mom.. we are really close, I see her every day.. but she only ever wants to talk about herself and never cares about anything in my life.

My family. They dont believe mental health issues are real. They push me to have a religion. To not be a real teenager. I dont really remember my childhood much, and Im afraid I dont want to. Im constantly afraid of everything. Even just asking a simple question makes my chest get tight. I love them, but I feel like theyre a lot of the reason I feel this way. I want them to be part of my life, but not force their beliefs on me.

My relationship with my stepmother. She means so well, and she helped raise me, and I appreciate how much she's done for me. But, she also doesn't realize the toxic effect shes had one me (and my sister). She is extremely judgemental and feels that her opinion is the only truth, and cannot accept she is wrong. When I read about narcissistic mothers, a lot of it sounds veeerrrryyyy familiar. I don't feel I can justify cutting her off, as is often the suggestion, but boundaries don't really work with her either. I'm really at a loss sometimes. I'm often in tears before I see her, I'm so anxious about seeing her. What to wear, what to say, to reduce the amount she judges or mocks me. To try to reduce the chances of our visit going sour.

The relationship with my mother. I jsut want her to be proud of me and be happy for me, but she never is.

My relationship with my parents. We have a horrible, toxic dynamic and it sucks seeing how my brothers get along with them but I don't.

My relationship with my wife I have been very hard on her. She has stood by me and foguht for me for a long time and I have let my own personal issues determine what happens in the relationship.

My relationship with my so called parents, I'm the only girl and they turned the entire family against me and now I'm the bad person, when I was the victim. My whole life I was lied too. It makes me sick.

my relationship with myself. I have 0 self love i try but its hard